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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Hand raised, I did. One thing I learned from the therapist was that any choices my parents made that my parents needed to be fully responsible for those choices.
Example, my parents chose to remain in their large single family house with a lot of stairs. I felt it wasn't user friendly for someone in their 90's, but my parents weren't going to budge from that place. So whenever my parents would complain about this or that, I would say "well, you chose to remain in this house".
That way I was finally able to set boundaries, which should have been done five years ago, but who knew. Why should I change my life because of "their decisions". Oh I did help, but I had cut way back because my therapist said don't keep enabling them otherwise they would never move, why should they, life was good.
I haven't been in therapy since my non- hands-on caregiving started, but I saw a therapist for several years, many years ago. I learned to recognize what I could control, and when my buttons were being pushed.
Just as an example, it's helpful to be able to say " mom is having an anxiety attack. Those used to really scare me when I was a little girl. They are still upsetting now, but now I can ask that she be given medication for it, instead of ME getting upset and lashing out at someone".
For me, therapy helped me know myself. It's a process you continue on your own, long after the session are over.
Hi Harpcat-I was seeing a therapist before we moved in August and am contacting one in our new town after the first of the year. For me it is very helpful. I didn't "click" with the first two I saw so my advice is to find one that you feel comfortable with. As with doctors I look for one's that I can feel as though I'm talking with a friend. Sense of humor is a must for me and also someone who I can totally trust with all the different emotions I am experiencing. What I looked forward to when my appointment was being able to discuss my situation, get guidance, suggestions and share some laughs. The human contact and being able to have a normal conversation kept me somewhat grounded. Sometimes the conversations would include the NBA or places to shop for a good deal etc. Also funny life experiences, jokes etc. I am looking forward to finding one here. Just last week got my husband signed up for daycare so I could pursue this and get a break. Will be just one day every other week. It's what we can afford. It's a start.
Babalou, how I remember those button pushing by my parents or sig other. You'd think I would learn not to explode whenever my Dad [94] said he would start driving again because I couldn't drive him to Home Depot that afternoon. BOOM!! My voice would go up a couple of octaves, my hands would shake, and I am crying on the phone. And Dad would remark for me to call him when I wasn't so upset :P
Now I can just say "whatever" whenever he says something that defies common sense.
When my mother was dying I needed a psychiatrist. I loved that he was clinically detached because it was my problem, not his. I wanted to understand and fix my problems without drugs. I'm not sure how many old-fashioned, conservative psychiatrists like mine are even left out there today. I think it's perverse how insurance companies will pay for drugs but not talk therapy.
Another hand raised. I've been seeing a therapist going on four years. It is very helpful because I tend to get lost in my caregiving role and need help holding onto my sense of self as someone other than a resource for my mother. I don't intend to stop going until my mother dies or I stop caregiving, whichever comes first.
Yes, I do...A psychiatrist, a therapist, a social worker, and I got to support groups 3X a week. Does it help..It keeps my feet on the ground..That way I am better able to take care of my husband...
Phizphiz.....that's a great point about "clicking". I'm seeing one now just because of all the chaos in my life plus the care giving. Have been 3 or 4 times. Although I don't know if he's the right one for me yet, he has given me some really good ideas for coping. I also agree with support groups. Even if you don't see a therapist it helps with knowing that you aren't the only one going through things plus like this site, you get great info and in site and you will have the added benefit of building bonds with others going through the same thing. Most support groups are lead by trained/experienced leaders who know how to guide the conversation so no one person takes up the whole time. Good luck and God Bless.
I also have a wicked sense of humor and if they don't "get it" then I feel it's their loss :)). And yes, keep on laughing. It keeps me going. Christmas is almost over and I hope everyone was able to enjoy a little "peace" of it. God Bless
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Example, my parents chose to remain in their large single family house with a lot of stairs. I felt it wasn't user friendly for someone in their 90's, but my parents weren't going to budge from that place. So whenever my parents would complain about this or that, I would say "well, you chose to remain in this house".
That way I was finally able to set boundaries, which should have been done five years ago, but who knew. Why should I change my life because of "their decisions". Oh I did help, but I had cut way back because my therapist said don't keep enabling them otherwise they would never move, why should they, life was good.
Just as an example, it's helpful to be able to say " mom is having an anxiety attack. Those used to really scare me when I was a little girl. They are still upsetting now, but now I can ask that she be given medication for it, instead of ME getting upset and lashing out at someone".
For me, therapy helped me know myself. It's a process you continue on your own, long after the session are over.
lol
Now I can just say "whatever" whenever he says something that defies common sense.
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