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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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There is no "should" calling. A son or daughter calls out of love, not out of "should". He will call when the spirit moves him and no one has a right to question when he calls.
I disagree ferris1, I think decent people call because it is the right thing to do. Extremely selfish people only do it when they darn well feel like it and it makes THEM happy and to heck with caring towards anyone else.
As an elder parent, I say don't call if you feel you 'have to'. Trust me, a parent knows the difference. I would rather have a call that's not hurried once a month than a quick check in once a week. People are busy now a days, but.
My take on this is a little different. My brother lives 1200 miles away and he was having very little contact with our parents (now aged 100 and 96), who live in an assisted living facility. He and I had a discussion on what he could do for ME from that distance, and I told him call our folks every week at an agreed-upon time. It gave me one day where I didn't have to contact them. But it also gave them bragging rights to their friends at the facility, because so many have no family contact at all. So he calls on Sunday afternoons each week, and they really look forward to it. So cc, maybe if you asked your brother to do this for YOU, he would be more responsive.
If this question needs to be asked there is obviously already an issue. You should call your parents just to say hello, even if the conversation is the same, monotonous and they can't hear you. Ask me how I know. On the other hand I have only one brother who is "too busy, works, is going to church or the cemetery to put flowers on the dead father's grave" to call or visit his alive mother. Oh wait, I forgot he did come on Christmas Day for a total of one hour to see her at my house where mom spends all the holidays and celebrations, he couldn't wait to get out of there quick enough. Just stating the facts.
I have to put my 2 cents in here. Everyone is busy, period. You make time for your parents because you know it is important to them. Sometimes husbands are closer to their wives family. If that is the case, the wife should encourage husband to call his parents. You will have a clear conscience and no regrets. I think you get to a point when you just have to say, it is his loss not mine.
I agree with the others.. there is no should, its his business, his attitude and his responsibility. Maybe, just maybe he feels upset esp if he was mummy's boy that he no longer has the parents he had as a child.. and now he gets what really can be identified with a brick wall at times. Its not yours to plan, worry get upset about.. My parents have 5 kids. only 2 of us keep regular contact with Ma, I had no contact while Pa was alive. I had become his victim of dementia, the evil one etc etc.. so best keep away, was the motto of the day. Now I do what I can for Ma and know by the time I put the key in the car door, she will have forgotten who I was and that I had visited. so save your energy for your own family, you never know when those contacts fail. and do for your parents as you will
ccflorida, I think you've seen a lot of responses here, pro and con. The main thing brother needs to consider is how will he feel once a parent passes on? Will he feel guilt about never calling? But again, it will be his burden, his guilt or no guilt. For me, I was on the phone with my dad over 5 times a DAY, yes a day, for YEARS. Not counting weekly visits, meals, taking care of his home, etc. Then once his ALZ got bad, it didn't matter if I call or visit, he never remembers from one minute to the next if I did call or visit. I could sit and visit with him for hours, leave his room for 10 minutes, come back in and he say "well, hi there!' as if I had just come to visit...IF he remembers who I am. He doesn't have a clue if I call or visit, zero short term memory. But I do know the burden of taking those multiple calls, to discuss the SAME thing, SAME story over and over and over....it made me avoid the phone, check the caller ID often. Bottom line, you have a caring heart, bless you. But your brother will deal with his own consequences when a parent passes, all you can do is ask him and remind him of how he may feel when this does happen. Good luck.
When my monster-in-law was in the NH, hubs wouldn't call and since she hated me I wouldn't call either. So for his sake, I wrote a letter once in a while. Its kind of like, create a storm and then wonder why is it is raining. If you are nice, people will be nice back, if you are mean, people will ignore you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Maybe, just maybe he feels upset esp if he was mummy's boy that he no longer has the parents he had as a child.. and now he gets what really can be identified with a brick wall at times.
Its not yours to plan, worry get upset about.. My parents have 5 kids. only 2 of us keep regular contact with Ma, I had no contact while Pa was alive. I had become his victim of dementia, the evil one etc etc.. so best keep away, was the motto of the day. Now I do what I can for Ma and know by the time I put the key in the car door, she will have forgotten who I was and that I had visited.
so save your energy for your own family, you never know when those contacts fail. and do for your parents as you will