Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
CC, I understand your frustration, but I also think you're right to let this one go. It's a pity that your brother doesn't grasp the point of contacting your parents more frequently - not to mention the advantage of getting into a routine while your parents are still able benefit from it - but if he doesn't, he doesn't and rack your brains as you might you will not find a way to change his mind. It is, as you've already understood, a hiding to nothing.
Actually. There is one thing: as your parents' faculties deteriorate, he is going to need to up the frequency. If he continues to leave six week gaps then there will come a point where they won't be able to enjoy his calls at all because they won't be part of their routine - they'll just be a disruption. Something for him to ponder, not for you to worry about.
If he is a pastor he is going against his own doctrine. It is written that the Christian who does not care for his own family is worse than a non-believer. Sometimes religious people see their church as their family, and your brother also has quite a large family where he is to tend to. Still a call every week or two wouldn't be too much for anyone, no matter how busy.
With my brothers I encourage, but I take the stance that their relationship with my mother is between her and them. We're not a close family, so I understand things. I also know they take good care of their wives, children, and grandchildren, so I cut them some slack in my mind. I do not have the pulls on my life that they have on theirs.
As I had mentioned above, I need to call my parents once a day [if I don't see them to make a delivery] otherwise they would think I was kidnapped. If the phone calls were enjoyable I wouldn't mind, but mainly Dad and I will have long gaps of silence. And that is understandable as every day is Ground Hog day in my parents life, or Dad will start on a story I heard 100 times already about how he know someone is stealing their mail [no one is stealing their mail]. Thus, it also depends on the routine conversations if one calls daily or not.
If I call my parents house and my Mom answers, I will get a "hello".... Hi Mom.... "hello".... Mom it's FreqFlyer..... "hello, guess no one is there" and she hangs up. Mom is almost deaf and hearing aids don't help :(
I say he should not call but save his pennies to get his butt on a bus and go see them for an extended time, in person! The wife can hold down the fort for 2 weeks.
We've already had a stand-off over this, so I was just wanting to see what answers I would get to a general question. He has argued back to me. So I've let it go so I won't get angry and have the anger come out on someone else (as had been happening). He's busy with his family (wife, four grown kids, eight grandkids) and his work (Christian pastor, hospice clergy) (ha). Thank you for your input.
ccflorida, you can tell your brother how your parents enjoy his calls and encourage him to call every week. It is what I did with my brothers. I know that their calls mean a lot to my mother. My brothers don't call every week, but when I send them a friendly message to remember to call, they do. Sons may not realize how much it means to parents to hear their voices and know they care. I don't press my brothers to call. I just let them know how much my mother enjoys hearing from them.
There is no estrangement. They gave and were good parents. Now, when phone calls mean so much to them, I think he should call them weekly and I've told him so. He thinks he's doing fine by calling every six weeks or so.
Lots of variables here. In some circumstances perhaps he shouldn't call at all. In others he might want (and Mom and Dad might like) a daily contact or even more.
Are they estranged? Do they have a close, loving relationship? Can the parents hear well and carry on a comfortable conversation on the phone?
Does he send notes and cards? Do the parents enjoy that as much as a call?
There is no "should" based on the little your said. Would you like to provide more background. For instance, why has this question come up?
Whenever he wants to or feels he needs to. I would go for once a week, maybe on Sunday afternoon or sometime similar. They'll look forward to the time that way.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Actually. There is one thing: as your parents' faculties deteriorate, he is going to need to up the frequency. If he continues to leave six week gaps then there will come a point where they won't be able to enjoy his calls at all because they won't be part of their routine - they'll just be a disruption. Something for him to ponder, not for you to worry about.
With my brothers I encourage, but I take the stance that their relationship with my mother is between her and them. We're not a close family, so I understand things. I also know they take good care of their wives, children, and grandchildren, so I cut them some slack in my mind. I do not have the pulls on my life that they have on theirs.
If I call my parents house and my Mom answers, I will get a "hello".... Hi Mom.... "hello".... Mom it's FreqFlyer..... "hello, guess no one is there" and she hangs up. Mom is almost deaf and hearing aids don't help :(
Lots of variables here. In some circumstances perhaps he shouldn't call at all. In others he might want (and Mom and Dad might like) a daily contact or even more.
Are they estranged? Do they have a close, loving relationship? Can the parents hear well and carry on a comfortable conversation on the phone?
Does he send notes and cards? Do the parents enjoy that as much as a call?
There is no "should" based on the little your said. Would you like to provide more background. For instance, why has this question come up?
My parents, who are in their 90's, get anxious if I don't call them at least once a day and we live in the same town.