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My father is full time. He quit dialysis 2 weeks ago. I'm a cook now as my second job. I'm freaking out. I'm 26 going to be 27 this year.


I don't want to quit. I dont want to snap at my dad. But also I don't want to snap at work either. But I feel like this is the only way to express my concern. And other caregivers actually understand. But in all realities. Can I even do the other job as well? Please someone just help me out.

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If your dad quit dialysis does that mean he now functions without it & doesn't need it anymore OR did he quit & going untreated?
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Agree with what everyone else said about hospice. Also call your dad's PCP. If there is no other family to help, you need even more outside help.
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Hey.. there are a few things that you can implement to relieve the stress
1. It's important to discuss with your father a routine in the home. Discussing things will allow purpose
2. Ensure that you maintain regular social contact with friends etc. Even if it is once a fortnight. Also you need to have a few hours a week lone time so developing someting that interests you will take your mind off your responsibilities for a while.
3. Your father also has to feel part of his community so encourage him and/or invite his friends round for a light meal or just visit.
4. Ensure that you both try and maintain the routine to facilitate the balance

These are just four simple steps which i hope helps...Cheers and good luck..
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You cannot continue caregiving like this. Seek alternative measures.
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If your Dad has quit dialysis you should call Hospice.
They will provide you with a bit of help a few times a week.
My guess is ..unless he began dialysis again ...your Dad has passed and I am sorry for your loss.
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Again, I am not seeing these posts for 2 to 3 weeks. If this man stopped dyalisis 2 weeks before the OP question after 28 days he has probably been hospitalized.
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I was shocked at how quickly hospice got everything in order. Here in CT I had to get a doctor's referral. My mother's pcp was great. I called his office and they got a third party nurse out that same day. She made her report and the pcp made the referral. By the next day, Saturday, hospice came for their evaluation in the morning and by the afternoon, her assigned nurse was there. We used The Connecticut Hospice. They were amazing. I had at home hospice for my mother, but it sounds like in-facility would be best for you. Given that he needs dialysis to survive, you should act quickly.
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If your dad's given up, he expects you to take care of him, and you are working a part or full time job, you are going to snap in to thousands of little pieces that will be really tough to glue back together. My advice is to call any hospice service in your area and talk to them. Hospice is not just about the person who is dying, it's also about the family. They can help with care, grief counseling, & their social workers know all the questions to connect you to aid. And they can do it in a hurry. Call them in the morning and let's see if we can get the weight of the world off your shoulders. Hang in There- it gets better.
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Dear Delarosa,

Sorry to hear what is happening. I know there is a lot on your shoulders between caring for your dad and working to support yourself. Its hard to know where to look for help. I hope you can talk to a social worker, hospital staff, counselor or access some community resources. There are options.

Talk to your dad's doctor. If your dad is ready to pass, he will need hospice care.

Take care and let us know how things are going.
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Hello Delarosa,
I sat with my aunt the last week of her life after she stopped dialysis. It was very difficult and all I was doing was visiting with her. I was not cooking or cleaning or working or anything else but being there for her and it was very hard. She was in a hospice facility. She had a full staff to attend her which required very little besides adjusting her medicine and keeping her clean and comfortable but it was their knowledge and oversight that was needed and made me comfortable that it was going as well as could be expected.  Dying is not easy. I hope you are working with hospice.  Take care and come back to let us know how you are doing.
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I would call hospice. He has very little time left without dialysis.

You will get all the help you need...get him placed in one of the hospice facilities. This will take the pressure off you, and will help him as his health fails rapidly now.
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I'm not sure what you are asking, but you are clearly overwhelmed. You work two jobs and are caring for your father who has stopped dialysis... so you are saying he has chosen to end his life? Where is he living now, and is he under hospice care?
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Delarosa, here is an excellent article about how not everyone is cut out to be a caregiver... I knew I wasn't, and this article really helped me understand.

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/not-everyone-cut-out-to-be-a-caregiver-162192.htm
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