How do I know if mom has dementia when I'm in Texas and she's in Iowa and she hates me! I'm still stuck on trying to be the "good daughter". Probably because I'm an only child and mom has no surviving relatives. We had her with us but she was just too beligerent and she actually ran away back to Iowa and is residing with my cousin. She sold their house after daddy passed away to come to Texas. Now she blames me for being alone, and penniless and no one wants her. This all stems from her giving me inheritance money and also money (about $1500) to help fix our old house up so it would be sellable (which it was and we have a new home). But she had money left - what she did with it all I don't know. She blew some it - a $3000 ring she'd been wanting for years and a used car (I understand)..but the rest is just gone. She's a bigot and hates my hispanic husband. She wants to argue and keeps saying I threw her out of our house (I didn't. When she was argumentative and beligerent, I told her if she wasn't happy - there's the door. That is not being thrown out!) Now we live a life of text messaging and she won't stop. She wants to argue and I can't do it. She doesn't have my number, only my husbands because we had to change mine to keep her from making me have a breakdown. I have MS and she apparently could care less if she stresses me out. She has said she's had a couple of strokes, but who knows. It could be lies. My cousin is housing her and believes I am the wench from h*ll simply because of what my mother says. My husband says it's dementia. I don't know how to determine if it is - or do I just walk away before she literally kills me from stress.??
Since she's broke, do your best to return the $1,500. That might keep her quiet for about a week or so.
Dumping on you is her way of feeling better about herself and justify the silly financial decisions she's made. My mother did it. I tuned her out. Now I'm an outcast for the Puerto Rican side of the family. But I can live with that. At least I'm at peace and don't have to put up with her BS anymore.
To send me on yet another guilt trip, she once blurted out "Forget I'm your mother" b/c I wouldn't give her $500 to honeymoon in Puerto Rico with a 23 y/o gangbanger from across the street. I said "I'm well on my way."
It seems the things that always irritated me about my mother are exacerbated, and there are new things to apall me now, and the good moments are fewer and farther between. We are living with the grief of losing them while their body shells are still present and require care. It is no wonder there is a support site such as this. Hugs to all, and many prayers go out for each and every one of you.