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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
didn't check your profile to see if your mom has dementia. If she does it might be easier to get control of this situation. If she's independent there may be very little you can do.
I agree with Windy. Tighten up your mom's finances so she has little to give to your brother. Let her keep a few dollars on her, not enough to lose sleep over if your brother comes sniffing around.
As for the pills, can you keep them locked away?
Your mom is enabling your brother and it's extremely difficult to stop someone from enabling especially if it's a parent who's enabling an adult child. Many times these behavior patterns have been in play for decades or even for an entire lifetime.
Thank you so much for your input. She has been doing for years now he is married and his wife is the same way. Its like I am fighting against all 3 he is a 53 year old man it's not like he is a kid.
My brother in law was an addict who got oxy off my mother in law who died from cancer..
When my mother in law went into the NH on hospice he took all her pills at her home..
After her death he went into rehab and got his crap together for about 6 mths.. But the minute her estate was settled and he got his money he went straight to his heroin dealer..
He lasted 2 years.. He died of an overdose .. He was found in a sleeze bag motel, penniless and alone..
We tried sooo hard to help..We took him in our home took him to rehabs but nothing helped...
Addicts have no shame. Tough love won't do it. Get medieval on his @#s. Cops, lawyers whatever it takes. And you'll have to do stuff that will piss mom off. So be it. I went through this with my sister a few years ago. She died of an overdose after wrecking the family for 15 years.
I had the same problem with 3 people in my family. Unless you have POA or guardianship, there is nothing you can do. I had to get my mom into assisted living and take away all her checks and valuables. Addicts will stop at nothing...only answer is to take control of everything yourself, which requires legal authority via POA or guardianship.
my mom used to hook me up with pills . we would simultaniously be jellin like felons . i , uh , to this day dont see who's business this was except ours .. shed give me two hydros and three muscle relaxers at the same time . my . in hindsight we were TOASTED .. LOL .. god , i miss mom ..
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You need to use your POA to get control of the finances if possible so your mom can't waste all her money on bro and others.
I agree with Windy. Tighten up your mom's finances so she has little to give to your brother. Let her keep a few dollars on her, not enough to lose sleep over if your brother comes sniffing around.
As for the pills, can you keep them locked away?
Your mom is enabling your brother and it's extremely difficult to stop someone from enabling especially if it's a parent who's enabling an adult child. Many times these behavior patterns have been in play for decades or even for an entire lifetime.
My brother in law was an addict who got oxy off my mother in law who died from cancer..
When my mother in law went into the NH on hospice he took all her pills at her home..
After her death he went into rehab and got his crap together for about 6 mths.. But the minute her estate was settled and he got his money he went straight to his heroin dealer..
He lasted 2 years.. He died of an overdose .. He was found in a sleeze bag motel, penniless and alone..
We tried sooo hard to help..We took him in our home took him to rehabs but nothing helped...
shed give me two hydros and three muscle relaxers at the same time .
my . in hindsight we were TOASTED .. LOL ..
god , i miss mom ..