has Lewy Body dementia He needs assistance with walking, toileting and dressing. He does not speak much. I don't want to make him anxious ahead of time, but don't want to spring the move on him. He has visited the facility for a program and lunch but does not know it is where we are planning to move him. He is 88 and has no other medical problems.
He was able to stay at home the entire 10 years. I never promised him that, though, and he knew that many people with LBD did have to go to a care center eventually. I told him that I would never, ever abandon him. I would always be his advocate, always look out for his best interests, always spend lots of time with him -- even if he had to go to a care center some day.
I understand that some care centers advise the caregiver to not visit for a certain period, such as 2 weeks. OMG. I would never have agreed to that!
I would also suggest not doing ANY packing in his presence. Move items discretely to another part of the house for packing. This will lessen his anxiety also. I learned that the hard way.
Right before my cousin went into AL, I told her a couple of days in advance, hoping she would have time to adjust, but, if fact, it wasn't helpful. At that time, she did have enough memory to recall the plan, but it scared her and she asked repeated questions about it. Over and over. She grew very anxious. She worried and fretted and the day of the move she said she was too sick to go and wouldn't get out of bed. I had to really inspire her to get up and dressed and to the AL. Once there, she settled in, but it was touch and go there. In retrospect, I would of have gotten her dressed that morning, told her about it in a matter of fact and positive way and then gotten her in the car with a small bag, with no time for anxiety and worry. But, each person is different.