My mom is 82 and in assisted living with dementia and early stages of alzheimers. She is completely opposite now then what she was when it comes to bathing & washing her hair. She will even go for days wearing the same clothes and it doesn't bother her at all. The aides at AL always ask her if she wants to shower and she tells them she'll do it later. She has her own private room & bath which makes it even more frustrating. I've tried (at least I think) all of the reasons why - odor, sores, cleanliness and she doesn't seem fazed by any of it. Any suggestions would be great.
My Dad's was very shy about letting a caregiver give him a shower. After saying no enough times, the caregiver put her hands on her hips and said "Mr. Bob, I raised a household of boys, there isn't anything I hadn't seen". That got my Dad laughing and it was smooth sailing after that.
Your Mom is of that era when rose scented powder was the norm. Smelled wonderful. If that is something she might enjoy it would be worth looking for such a product. Maybe the Vermont Country Store may sell it. Have the Aide reward Mom with some of the powder after a shower, and have the Staff comment on how great she smells :)
Ideally there should be a schedule ( say, Mondays and Fridays at 8 am). The aide should arrive and say " it's time for your shower!".