So …. Dad has catheter decides he now needs a poo after night carer has been and put him to bed. He refuses to use the commode.
Got there last night and mum is trying to lift him out of bed with no zimmer to hand and I then march him to loo 15 metres away holding nightstand catheter bag etc
I'm not there every night and the commode is 1 metre away from his bed so no probs with catheter etc, much easier for mum (dad is 6’3 mum is 5’3)
Dad refuses point blankly to use it.
Social worker is pulling her hair out and these situations make it “unsafe” for him to be at home…..
any tips …….
thank you so much brilliant ideas and I will try them all xx
(dad is 87 no formal diagnosis of dementia but social worker trying to get us to see their dementia specialist)
you guys are awesome thank you xxx
If you can get it into his head that the toilet is broken right now and you have to use this.. We can fix the toilet in the morning. That might get him to use it closer to the bed.
Other option...Mom no longer helps dad to the bathroom after someone leaves. So if no one is there to help her he stays in bed. This will be difficult for both to get used to. But if the caregiver reminds him that once she/he is gone no one can move him and give him another opportunity to use the bathroom.
Try getting a room divider or you can hang a shower curtain up to give him more privacy that might help.
When I had foot/ankle surgery and was totally bedbound, the one thing the care facility told me was to get a commode and place it next to the bed.
Uh, no and no, no, no. My DH wouldn't even bring me a cold drink, how was I supposed to get him to empty a commode? No way. I worked out how to get to the bathroom and all we did was put a riser on the toilet seat. I was able to 'scooter' to the bathroom and while it was hard, it was preferable to the commode.
In your case, sounds like you may need to place gpa. CG's ge hurt trying to manuver their LO's and it's hard. When someone becomes bowel incontinent--I personally think that is a big game changer. Good Luck to you. My guess is that dad still 'gets it' that you don't poop in your bedroom.
You might also want to have the "night carer" come a little later and make sure that he/she puts him on the commode before they leave, giving him plenty of time to poop if he has to.
Something has to change before your mum really hurts herself trying to assist him. I hope you gets things figured out soon.