Don't want to let mom know, only make her feel bad HELP! I can't seem to do anything with out getting snapped at. But with mom just loosing dad, I don't want her to know what has been said and done because it will only split the family apart. Mom's kids are all she has left but I am getting really tired of all the snipping and backbiting going on. When I let one of my sisters know how I disliked the way she had been treating me, she pulled the poor me I didn't do anything to deserve this. Mom bought it all and told me I had hurt my sisters feelings and I needed to apologize to her. I really didn't want to but I did because mom said so. I am 52 years old and I love my mom very much, if she says do it I will try too. (Mom is 80 years old) I just don't know what to do anymore. Mom needed help with dad so I did everything I could to help her. We laid dad to rest today and I told my sister I was sorry. That was hard to do because I didn't see any reason for me to tell her that when I was only telling her the truth about how she had been treating me. I am afraid they are going to railroad mom now that dad's gone but I don't know how to make her see that without being the bad daughter again. Sorry for the rambling - I really just needed an outlet for my feelings. Thanks for listening and God Bless you all!
"Mom bought it all and told me I had hurt my sisters feelings and I needed to apologize to her. I really didn't want to but I did because mom said so."
You guys are adults now. No one should be running to mommy when someone gets their feelings hurt. And you're right, it will affect the family dynamic. Do the best you can under the circumstances. If you say something or something to hurt someone's feelings, apologize. If someone does something to hurt you and they don't apologize don't carry it around with you. You guys are adults now. Sometimes as adults we get banged up and bruised by what others say to us but we find a way to deal with it and move on.
Concentrate on helping your mom through the loss of your dad. If someone steps on your toes deal with it without involving your mom. She shouldn't be playing referee to her adult children, especially right now.
Not to be a bummer but does Mom have all her legal papers in order ? Just asking because of the loss of her husband..
If you are afraid of siblings railroading Mom make sure she sees an Atty. who specializes in Elder Law.. That way she will be able to decide who she feels is the responsible party and you all will have to accept her wishes..
Hugs..
If mom asks for your counsel, give it honestly. But don't volunteer to get into the middle of this.
You are thinking of your mom and that is why you are taking the high road. I'd find some peace in that.
Yes I am doing all I can to help my husband. It has been hard helping mom with dad and staying on top of my husband's health also. But with God's help we made it though. I am hopeing that when Jan. 2016 comes around and his insurance changes that I can get him to go to the doctor. He was insisting that he get the plan F supplement so that anything that happens the hospital & doctor bills would be paid. He knows something isn't right but until he decides to go to the doctor all I can do is be here for him. Also while I was at mom's our son would call and check on him and the neighbors kept watch too (although he doesn't know this).
Thanks for your help and God Bless!