My mother is 90 years old and my brother is her financial advisor. I am her 60 year son who lives with her and I am her only caregiver. When I let my brother become her financial advisor he agreed to run all transactions by me. There are few transactions. Now he says he can't work with me and has told my mother that she must not take my advice anymore. He gave her an ultimatum. He says he must ignore me or he refuses to be financial advisor.
I have twenty years experience in finance. I feel this ultimatum puts an undue pressure on my mom to choose between sons. I find that somewhat cruel but that's another story. My mother and I are perplexed as to how to handle this whole situation.
Every trade that gets made costs your mother money in transaction fees and possibly taxes. This is called "churning". It is done by unscrupulous Financial Planners.
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At this point in her life, your mother needs a financial advisor like she needs a new skateboard. She needs a trustworthy POA and protections from scammers and wolves.
Your mother gave *you* POA, not your brother. If I were you, I would go over with your mother all of her finances as they currently stand and ask her if she's happy with them in terms of the income she's getting from them. Changing allocations and investment instruments in a market that is as volatile as the current one is very risky for someone on a fixed income.
Once you get her finances sorted out, I would see if the brokerage she's with offers CFP services. Most do.
Your brother really has no business putting pressure on your mother - it's a red flag! She needs to stand up to him and say that if she wants his advice she'll ask for it. She also does not need to explain herself to him.
See an attorney. If I were your mom I would remove him from handling her financial matters.
I wish your brother success in staying sober but it makes absolutely no sense to place him in a situation where he has temptation or any possibility of more control than he should have.
I have enormous empathy for you. I grew up with an addict. Unfortunately, he died several years ago due to his reckless behavior.
Best wishes to you and your family.
No professional would do that to a client
Like loaning money to a family member or friend I do not think family should do business when it comes to money matters.
I would ask for all your moms paperwork, all the information he has and get a new advisor. Actually your mom should do this if she is capable of doing so.
I do hope that you have the ability to also see her accounts just to make sure that nothing is amiss once she finds another financial advisor.
Take this opportunity to review all her paperwork as well. Health Care directives in order? Does she have a Will that is current? does she have updated beneficiaries where needed? and all the other "stuff" that goes with this. A visit to an Elder Care Attorney might be in order. If mom does not want to "ruffle feathers" she can just say that she is doing a end or beginning of the year review of all her papers to make sure they are up to date and there would be nothing that would create a problem if anything should happen
I wouldn't disagree that the economic upheavals of this year demand at least an assessment of the portfolio, but I just don't see the rationale for so much apparent attention.
Greed and control would be what I would suspect are the motives for your brother's wannabe takeover of your mother's finances. I wouldn't allow this under any circumstances.
As I said in a post to you several years ago, regardless of your POA, she is allowed to make BAD decisions.
I think it would be best to get an eldercare attiorney involvedbat this point. If you talk mom into firing brother, that could be seen as "undue influence" same as brother is doing.
You need a neutral 3rd party. And you need to be compensated for your caregiving.
When mom was living with me I found out that she named my drug addicted brother as her POA. I just about blew a rod. After composing myself, I asked mom why would she do such a thing.
Her response to my question floored me. She said, “Well, I wanted him to feel important and to feel that I trust him. He feels worthless.”
I was completely taken aback by her answer. Then I told her that I was utterly devastated and disappointed with her poor judgment.
I told her that daddy would never have allowed such a thing to occur and that we were going to an attorney to have him removed immediately.
She agreed but was still concerned more about his feelings than being practical and protecting herself. Not to mention how it effected me, the daughter who did everything for her.
I was hurt. I was shocked. There are no words to describe how it felt to see my mom live with the constant stress.
I had empathy for her but let’s be honest, she invited this into her life when she assigned him as her POA.
Some parents can be blind when it comes to their children. Plus she’s old school.
My brother was her first born and she feels men are more important than women. I was only regarded as a servant.
How do you know that your brother isn’t using? No one gets past their addiction. They stay in recovery.
Some don’t even make it that far and even if they do, the risk of relapse is always a short step away.
Stress happens brother, and don't worry about it. We can handle it from here.
Love You. Rest up. Dealing with Covid, taking care of Mom, and your family, we totally understand. Sometimes it gets to overwelming.
and also if he was in a smaller local firm, run the names of the principals of group on FINRA as well. Even if the firm dissolved.
Guys that churn accounts usually have a lively FINRA.
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