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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
You say on your profile page that you are caring for your husband. Is he caring for you? You have Parkinson’s?
I care for my husband who is mostly bedridden. He doesn’t say it, but I know, after 45 years of marriage, that this is not the retirement life we wanted or expected. He always spoke of traveling out West, but at this point we cannot even go up the street to Bob Evans. He knows this and I know this. We don’t dwell on it.
From my own experience with caregiving, I can only offer my advice as to how I “feel and deal”. Do all you can possibly do for yourself. Accept the help of home healthcare aides if they’re offered to you. Everyone has bad days, physically and mentally. But, during a cloudy and rainy day recently, my husband and I found ourselves laughing hysterically over a television show. It was a special moment; unplanned but so enjoyable. Be amenable to things he wants to do. Don’t force him to go out if he doesn’t want to. I’m not interested in going out just to go out. I’d rather sit in my beat up old recliner and read...or nap. But, make sure he takes care of himself by visiting his own doctor at least yearly.
When the time comes that he can no longer care for you, discuss going to a facility if that’s an option. No one dances and does cartwheels down the middle of the street over having to leave home, but when it becomes necessary, accept it with grace and cooperation.
Sending you and your husband much understanding and wishes for peace.
There is not much more that can be added to Ahmijoy's caregiving testimony, but I am wondering (respectfully) why do people wait to consider being physically depleted and over being mentally/emotionally depleted before transitioning into a different living situation with alternate care help? I do understand how profound a decision this transition is in peoples' lives...
You did not cause this for yourself or him. Does he have time for himself? Do you have time to yourself?
Is there additional help from time to time? Would that make you feel better? I am not sure that I understand your circumstances. Can you share a bit more please? Thanks.
I hope things get better for you soon. Start working on a plan if you need to.
Annie, I am sorry for the circumstances that the two of you are in. If I were in your position, with a disease like PD, I would want the best for my partner. Caregiving is very emotional and difficult work. It effects the caregivers health as well.
What would happen to you if something were to happen to him? Part of his job is to care for himself; part of your job is to also take care of him. He needs help or he won't be able to care for you. Do you want that for him?
If agency care cannot be brought into the home to give him at least a few hours each day, how much care could be obtained. Is it time to consider a facility close by so he can see you daily as a loving husband? Is he afraid of the financial devastation this could cause at this stage in his life? Have you met with an elder law attorney to learn about Medicaid and how prevention of spousal impoverishment would help ease the financial impact?
Have you talked about facility living? Figure out what your wishes for yourself and he are. Openly discuss the prospect of being willing to move and when. You will both be much happier when you both take care of yourselves and each other.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I care for my husband who is mostly bedridden. He doesn’t say it, but I know, after 45 years of marriage, that this is not the retirement life we wanted or expected. He always spoke of traveling out West, but at this point we cannot even go up the street to Bob Evans. He knows this and I know this. We don’t dwell on it.
From my own experience with caregiving, I can only offer my advice as to how I “feel and deal”. Do all you can possibly do for yourself. Accept the help of home healthcare aides if they’re offered to you. Everyone has bad days, physically and mentally. But, during a cloudy and rainy day recently, my husband and I found ourselves laughing hysterically over a television show. It was a special moment; unplanned but so enjoyable. Be amenable to things he wants to do. Don’t force him to go out if he doesn’t want to. I’m not interested in going out just to go out. I’d rather sit in my beat up old recliner and read...or nap. But, make sure he takes care of himself by visiting his own doctor at least yearly.
When the time comes that he can no longer care for you, discuss going to a facility if that’s an option. No one dances and does cartwheels down the middle of the street over having to leave home, but when it becomes necessary, accept it with grace and cooperation.
Sending you and your husband much understanding and wishes for peace.
Is there additional help from time to time? Would that make you feel better? I am not sure that I understand your circumstances. Can you share a bit more please? Thanks.
I hope things get better for you soon. Start working on a plan if you need to.
What would happen to you if something were to happen to him? Part of his job is to care for himself; part of your job is to also take care of him. He needs help or he won't be able to care for you. Do you want that for him?
If agency care cannot be brought into the home to give him at least a few hours each day, how much care could be obtained. Is it time to consider a facility close by so he can see you daily as a loving husband? Is he afraid of the financial devastation this could cause at this stage in his life? Have you met with an elder law attorney to learn about Medicaid and how prevention of spousal impoverishment would help ease the financial impact?
Have you talked about facility living? Figure out what your wishes for yourself and he are. Openly discuss the prospect of being willing to move and when. You will both be much happier when you both take care of yourselves and each other.