Me & gran had a great relationship, sadly in December she went into a care home. I'm her next of kin, she told me to empty her bank, pay all bills & buy her everything she needed. Gran passed away 3 weeks ago ☹ & her son is saying any money I took or spent on gran he wants me to return it, but I don't have it as used on gran I paid her care fees & funeral as well
You are not legally her next of kin, her children are if her spouse is dead.
I would encourage you to make copies and send a letter with the copies telling all of her children that grandma's money was used for her, as verified by the attached copies and that you will not be returning any funds as they were used according to grandma's requests.
Do not just ignore this though. That can cause problems. So, respond with a letter and copies and wait. If they pursue it, you can always counter sue for harassment, pain ans suffering and anything else a good attorney can think of.
I am sorry for your loss and I am sorry that your family wasn't present, yet now have their hands out. It is more common then we can imagine.
The Care home staff will verify that she brought Mom clothes, toiletries and snacks. She doesn't have receipts for these things.
I adored my grandmother and I helped her just as you did for yours. I am sure that her love for you means the world to you. You have precious memories of your time together. My grandmother told me often how much she appreciated my love and compassion for her.
As long as you have receipts for your purchases, you should be fine. You weren’t going on a ‘shopping spree’ for unnecessary items. You bought things that she needed.
Wishing you the very best!