My mom moved onto our property 2 1/2 years ago into a tiny home that we built for her. Recently my 2 sisters came to visit. While they were visiting, my mom & I got into a disagreement. My sisters suddenly wanted to know all of the details of the past 2 1/2 years between my mom & I .I blew up! It turned into a 6 hour heated discussion.Does anyone have any advice on how to handle these situations?I felt disrespected and was not given the benefit of the doubt.Was I wrong, or is it their business? Thanks!
Best of luck setting down some boundaries for YOURSELF moving forward.
However , if Mom is competent , Mom can decide to stay or to live somewhere else other than on your property whenever she chooses , and there would be no reason for you to be in a 6 hour discussion with sibs .
My feeling is if the sisters where that worried about your mom that you have been doing everything you can for 2 + years they should of been helping more, and be much much more understanding of why you may have argued with mom . I'm sure this is very stressful, and they definitely should be helping, and NOT judging you! I bet that they would have some anger issues after 2 years also.
It's tough on family's when they see a decline and they seem to blame the one doing most of the work.
I wish there was more information on family conflicts for aging, this seems to be an epidemic .
Im really sorry, I have no good advice for you. If I did my family wouldn't be such a mess either.
A very different situation than yours, mom doesn't live with me. With that being said, I have learned to let go of things that I disagree with my family on, and learning to just take care of me. I know how much I'm doing, I know I'm doing as much as I can do given my situation, and I know how far and what I'm willing to do in the future. I have let my family know what to expect of me and what not to expect of me, I'm stuck to that and put up my boundaries.
Also I've learned, when my family does something that upsets me. I feel it for a while, then I let go of that drama, I let it all go. Let go let God, let the cookies crumble.
I'm hoping with work I can stop that instant gut feeling before it boils up in me. I'm working on that, for now though I'm very happy because I'm much better at not letting it fester in me for days.
That probably wasn't very helpful, but best of luck.
Really this isn't a Forum that can help much with troubled dynamics that involve family and ongoing family interactions. I can't tell you how best to handle your sisters, but I doubt a 6 hour discussion helps anything.
As far as family visits go, as Dr Laura says, keep interactions short and just be polite.
You give us no details regarding how this connects with your mother living on your property. We can't make up details. Sorry answers are therefore quite incomplete.