Hi I am new to this forum. My husband is 76 years old and was diagnosed about 5 years ago with beginning stages of Alzheimer's by a neurologist. Its taken alot of research and patience learning about this disease. I am his sole caregiver. My son moved back with us a year ago and has been a great deal of help. My son is my husband's stepson. I have had to learn the triggers and do's and don'ts of this disease. When a family member or a friend calls to speak with my husband, they always say something that triggers his behavior for the rest of the day or evening. I have had conversations with them about this, but they just don't listen. It has happened many times. I repeatedly tell them to keep the conversations on a light note. It just does not work. I don't know what to do anymore other than keeping the phone off the hook so we are both stress free. Any help would be appreciated.
Regarding the filthy stupid ‘friend’, unless he is/ was an important person in your husband’s life, I’d agree that you don’t need him around. Certainly not to take your husband out and get him completely confused. It makes you wonder if he has dementia himself. I suppose you didn’t find the dirty toilet until after he’d gone, otherwise I sincerely trust you would have made him clean up his mess himself!
Perhaps they will listen if you try again, and say ‘one more time, and I block your number’. It that still doesn’t work, they are likely to get back to you when you do in fact block their number. They might be angry, but also more ready to listen.
It’s worth giving them some notice, to try to sort out the problem without upsetting DH or limiting his contact with his old friends and acquaintances. Chances are that they think they are doing the right thing by talking about ‘the real issues’. This can get worse if they think that you are doing something wrong, and you are cutting off contact as a control technique.
It might help if your son makes the calls, and tells them how difficult it is making things for you. He can ‘blame’ the impact on you, more strongly than you can yourself. It’s a tricky problem to handle!
country and hardly ever calls. Once and a while. A friend took him out a couple of weeks ago and brought him to another house when he got home and my husband didn't know where he was. He was trying to get into this other house with his key. Its a good thing the friend just didn't leave him there. My husband wasn't at all alright for a few days after that. I was so angry at the friend, but he made light of it. Then he used my bathroom and left his fifth all over my toilet seat behind. In all honesty I and my husband don't need people like this in our lives. What do you think.
And if that doesn't work I see nothing wrong with taking your phone off the hook, or better yet just unplug it, that way you won't have to listen to that annoying noise that a landline makes when it's off the hook.
And if you have a cell phone, you can just turn that off as well.
Wishing you the best.