He can some some things but refuses. His right side is numb but he can hold some things. He had a brain bleed four years ago. And it affected his right side plus he has md. He is 72. He like to be waited on. I work 10-12 hours a day. He doesn't understand I'm tired.
My cousin has VD mixed with AD. By looking at her, you would think she can move her hands, fingers and feet. She seems to do use them well in some ways, like picking up food or moving in her wheelchair, but she is not able to use them in other ways. For example, she is not able to put her hand into a gift bag and put out the item. She is unable to put gloves on or to bathe or change her clothes. Her brain prevents it. Her brain does not allow her to move her legs after she stands up. She looks capable, but the brain limits it.
A dementia patient may be physically able to get out of bed, shower, prepare a meal, dress and sign checks, but they are often NOT able to actually do those things, because the brain is hindering them. And they may be able to do it some days and not others.
A dementia patient is not likely to grasp the number of hours someone is working and how that would impact your time in providing care for him. They don't understand the energy and time involved in their care. It's not his fault. He would have no problem understanding that before the dementia.
I would read a lot about Mixed dementia and how it effects the brain, movement and judgment impairment, so I could adjust my expectations and get help. Getting help to help you take care of him is imperative. It's almost impossible to do this alone in the home, especially working full time. I wish you both the best.
What seems obvious to us, isn't always so obvious to them. Have you tried making sticky notes and leaving them on fridge? Like "Load Dishwasher Please", "Dust Living Room", "Fold Towels", etc. Mine is pretty much oblivious to anything outside of his own enjoyment. I used to get miffed, blow through all the work while he sat in front of the TV eating cookies, drinking pop, like a child in front of cartoons. One day my Father asked me, have you asked him to do anything? So I tried it, "would you please vacuum while I dust?". TV off, husband up, vacuuming, happily. (?) The second the vacuuming is done, he'll be right back on his butt unless I say "and the towels need folded and put away", ... I dunno, but it's like he thinks if someone else has it then there is no problem. Good luck.