Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I sure could use it right now. Stressed out from mom. Now it's supposed to snow again Tuesday. My husband is supposed to drive 40 minutes away in early morning. Something more to be stressed about.
when i used to look at my mom and try to visualize a shrinking and dying brain it gave me a tremendous capacity for patience and compassion . to look right in and see the failing diseased brain you had to momentarialy look past the current monkeyshines of the day and the bipolar cycles which generally arent easily ignored . my caregiving was 10% physical and 90% mental / emotional . it wasnt a smooth road for a guy about three fries short of a happy meal himself .
To be painfully honest, I used to drink, (sometimes too much) after I put Mom to bed. My RN told me you MUST take care of yourself in order to take care of your loved one. If there is any way to take a break and get some rest and alone time, pls do so. You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of a loved one. I realize it's hard, but you have to make time, truly.
Staying positive is a difficult one for sure. I think living in the moment helps. You can't change the past and the future hasn't come yet. So try to make the moment you are living in the best it can be irregardless of your circumstances. Also remembering that a lot of the things we are worrying might happen never do so why give yourself undo stress thinking about it.
A positive attitude comes only when I take care of myself. Long-term stress and burnout destroy it. For me, I need to be spiritually fit (meditation, prayer, sharing with friends or support group, and therapy if need be), have emotional support, take my own meds and physically take care of myself. If I am hospitalized or die, I will be of no help!
Well, for me, knowing I will die is a good starting point. This won't last forever because eventually I will be dead and it will be over. On the other hand, since I know I won't live forever, I try to squeeze in a little fun whenever I can. Cheerful, huh?
Does your stress come from thinking you should be able to control the situation? You could do everything exactly "right" and your mother would still have dementia. You wish explaining things to her would help. Usually it doesn't. You try so hard to take away her unhappiness, and it won't go away.
“God has not called me to be successful. He has called me to be faithful.” – Mother Teresa. This means that if you are doing what you can, then it has to be enough. Caregivers always feel guilt, because we can't solve the problems. Give yourself credit when you are faithful, persistent, present. Give yourself a break when you have to step back. No one can do it all.
Good luck, it's so hard to place a positive spin on anything when one's parent(s) can become so very stubborn. My parents were going to live in that house come heck or high water, and didn't want any outside help. Nope, nothing positive in that decision.
Then I tried to find a sense of humor with all that was going on... but the humor was found only weeks after the fact when I was able to share it with others who are/were dealing with their own elders.
I also get stressed about the snow, never use to, always loved it and couldn't wait to get out into it with my Jeep. Then I became scared silly with it because of doctor appointments, grocery shopping, errands, and having to use my parent's old Oldsmobile sedan which was NOT snow worthy as my Mom could not longer climb up into my vehicle. I would start hyperventilating the day before I had to drive them somewhere !! Nope, nothing positive here, folks.
I remember the snow when we lived in Arlington VA. The Chevy Malibu slid around and we lived up a steep hill. So we got the sled out and walked it to the store a couple of miles away. Great days but very worried about husband getting to work near the Pentagon in the pool car an old sedan like frequent flier mentioned. I also used to love the snow and skiing but not any more. It makes life too difficult. Here in the UK we have constant rain and gales trees down etc. This is winter I guess and I am thankful the roof is still there. Good luck to you all traveling in the snow and ice.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Does your stress come from thinking you should be able to control the situation? You could do everything exactly "right" and your mother would still have dementia. You wish explaining things to her would help. Usually it doesn't. You try so hard to take away her unhappiness, and it won't go away.
“God has not called me to be successful. He has called me to be faithful.” – Mother Teresa. This means that if you are doing what you can, then it has to be enough. Caregivers always feel guilt, because we can't solve the problems. Give yourself credit when you are faithful, persistent, present. Give yourself a break when you have to step back. No one can do it all.
M88
Then I tried to find a sense of humor with all that was going on... but the humor was found only weeks after the fact when I was able to share it with others who are/were dealing with their own elders.
I also get stressed about the snow, never use to, always loved it and couldn't wait to get out into it with my Jeep. Then I became scared silly with it because of doctor appointments, grocery shopping, errands, and having to use my parent's old Oldsmobile sedan which was NOT snow worthy as my Mom could not longer climb up into my vehicle. I would start hyperventilating the day before I had to drive them somewhere !! Nope, nothing positive here, folks.
See All Answers