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Since she is still living with us we would at least like to make sure she is taking her meds as we would find them all over the house wrapped in tissues, under her pillow etc. etc. but wondering if we just somehow put them in the food we give so at least she is getting them since we know she is taking them on her own. This seems to be the easiest thing to do without causing a fight with her. Any thoughts?

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As others noted, many cannot be crushed and even if they can be, they can taste dreadful. Depending on what she is taking and her age, perhaps some can be discontinued? If swallowing is an issue, ask the pharmacist if there are other options, such as a compounded liquid - usually they can add some flavoring to help with the taste, if there is any.

Definitely YOU should be managing the medications, i.e. they are kept under your control and when given to her, she takes them in your presence. When mom was still at home and able to take the medications (mainly BP), we had to use a locked timed dispenser, but sometimes she would miss doses. At least she couldn't take TOO many. Hired aides for 1 hour/day for a sanity check (mom was early dementia) and med check (they can't dispense the meds, but they can check and direct her to them.)

At MC, they kept the medications under control and would give them out with water, making sure they were taken right then and there. Once mom had a stroke and had trouble swallowing, she would spit them out. I asked the pharmacist if we could open the capsule and put the contents into something like applesauce. She told me we could, but they were "time-released" so if she managed to chew any, they wouldn't be as effective. But, like you said, something is better than nothing!

This may not work for her, but just recently I read a recommendation that said put the pills in the mouth, take a sip of water, tip the head DOWN, and then swallow. The object is to have the pills floating in the water. Seems counter-productive, but it does seem to help.
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Here's what worked for my mom: She would drink some water BEFORE attempting to take her pills, which helped a great deal. When she started having more difficulty swallowing, I would coat the pills with soft butter, and they'd slide right down. (Be sure none of your mom's meds have dairy contraindications, if you try this.)
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1. Eliminate any that are not necessary.
2. Ask the doctor or pharmacist what ones come as a liquid or a patch.
3. Ask the doctor or pharmacist what ones can be crushed.
Usually any that are coated or time released or capsules can not be crushed.
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gdaughter Mar 2021
I have a dear friend who became more like a big bro to me who is an oral surgeon and he has had to take care of me multiple times...some of those times he would want me to take some antibiotic, which we would get in liquid form, and still I struggled greatly but I gave it my all. At one point I discovered of the dose, I couldn't do it in one swallow, and it was that extra little remaining bit that was so so hard. So I stopped trying. One swallow was it. The way I looked at it, and bless him, he agreed, was that ANY amount of the med going in was better than NOTHING. ANd something was....I never had a problem, but I still hate the stuff.
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Putting the pills in her food is a good idea. I live in assisted living and they crush the pills into yogurt.
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gdaughter Mar 2021
Blech. Stay back 6 feet from me with that yogurt crap! But bless you for trying....
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First, ask your Doctor what meds are absolutely necessary especially
near end of life. Skip the rest. He will be able to advise you in a professional
manner.
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You have to be careful giving her meds secretly because she might be taking some and then she would end up taking a dbl dose.

Also, you would have to chk with a Pharmacist, just call Walmart Pharmacist and ask about each medication she is on as some meds can be mixed and some can't. You may also ask if any of the meds she is taking come in liquid form.

Also, go over all the Meds she is taking and see what they are for and then talk to her Dr and try to eliminate some of them. Just have her take the most important ones.

It's a known fact that most Seniors are taking way too much meds than necessary.
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The worst thing family members do when they start taking care of someone is to control them. You can't do that. People have a right to refuse medication and not be harassed or made to feel bad about it. All you can do is tell him or her what happens if they don't take it. This information can be provided by the prescribing physician. You should not be hiding medication to force someone to take them. It is actually a crime.
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gdaughter Mar 2021
BLESS YOU. One of the absolute worst, most stressful, and heart breaking aspects of my illness was to feel as if I had lost my identity and control over my life while in the hospital and rehab. It was a huge stressor. For example when in the hospital I had thought and turned out to be true that there was some outdoor access. So one day the PT person had heard my request and wheeled me to the floor with outdoor access, and had me walk from the elevator to the door. When in rehab, my requests were ignored. I also knew I could refuse the meds, but there are many so called caregivers who are bullies in the name of doing good, and we are often weak and recuperating and have no energy to fight the powers that be. They can also predict horrible and dire consequences for refusing any sort of treatment, putting fear and additional stress into people. Might be a little different in a home setting with family caregivers, but in my heart and head I still feel it is the patient's decision and dementia or not, they are still conveying their sense of self, autonomy, and conveying a decision they have made on their own. I think as I go forward and get my won POA's in order, I will make it clear how I feel about this so there are no misunderstandings.
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Be aware that many medications say to not crush or break the pills as this effects the dosing, perhaps any time-release action built into the pills. Also, some pills when crushed are incredibly bitter, to the point where they are not really easy to "disguise". Do look for powders or patches when possible.
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My mom willingly took her Alzheimer's meds, but she had trouble swallowing them, so I hid them in mashed potatoes or applesauce, and it made things easier for everybody. I agree with the advice to see which meds can be crushed, and which need to be taken whole.
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Don't.

Have you tried asking her about it?

By asking, I do mean asking and not telling (let alone nagging, bullying, browbeating, frightening or any of the other tactics which I am sure you would not try however tempting).

When you find the next stash, speak to her about it nicely; e.g. "I couldn't help but notice these when I cleared your plate - did you mean to take them after supper?"

Then, crucially, listen to what she says and don't argue.

You can explain, you can encourage, you can reassure, you can recommend following her doctor's advice. You can support in ways such as prompting, timing, organising. It may even be that she says something that makes it a good idea to go back to the prescribing doctor and support her, e.g. "is there perhaps a formulation that's easier to swallow/doesn't taste like frog poo/won't give her heartburn, please?" But the relationship is between MIL and her doctor: it is the doctor's responsibility to inform his/her patient and to frame treatment in a way that is acceptable to and practical for her, not yours.

In due course, as MIL declines, it may be that she will no longer be able to give or withhold consent and your DH will be acting for her. Even then, it will be better to tell her what is happening, and to leave it to her to take or not take unless there is an overwhelming medical reason that says otherwise (there hardly ever is).
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