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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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She has recently begun asking for rather uncharacteristic demands and becoming very depressed and disoriented. How do we go about executing the terms of the POA?
My comments are addressing your comment about dementia and alzheimers. I do this because life for caregivers and loved ones is much easier if they understand and are informed as they can be about what is afflicting who they care for. Alzheimer's is a form of dementia, and there are many forms of dementia, each with their own characteristics and similar characteristics. My mom had 5 different diagnoses. Over a 5 year period, there was a multitude of tears, frustration, stress, etc... and the more that I researched and learned about all forms of dementia and the more I learned about caregiving the easier it was to handle. It gave us more happy times. Many times different forms of dementia can overlap.
In retrospect, taking the time to find out what was happening to mom was a great investment. In the long run it saved us time and money by knowing what not to waste time on and things that were unnecessary. It taught me how to listen to mom and look for clues that worked for her and made her happy, because what works for one person is different from the next. The biggest misconception that I see is that alzheimers is the same in everyone that has it and if you put on the patch, they are happy campers. The biggest benefit was that we had a more rewarding 4 years before she passed away. Remember to take care of yourself in this journey. Bless you for being there.
My brother-in-law and I share POA for my mother-in-law. However, I'm the one with the checkbook, and I'm the one that pays all her bills. All her sons are on her account with her so when she dies the POA duties will end, and the boys will take over what they need to do. It has worked out fine for us so far, but that's because they trust me. When I'm having an issue with my mother-in-law's account and I need to move money from savings or her CD into her checking account, I always talk to him first and keep him in the loop. Open honest communication and trust is what makes this work. You can do it to if you have that. My mother-in-law hasn't seen her checkbook for years, but she'll ask 'how's my money doing?' which means she's concerned whether she can afford $3500 a month at her asst living. She also has dementia and is legally blind with macular degeneration.
First, read the POA. It should state clearly that if your mother cannot or chooses to not make any decisions relating to her money, property, personal property, etc. then her sister and you can make decisions for her. Just tell and show that document whenever you have to execute any transaction that she would have done herself. Having Alzheimer's disease is a form of dementia and there are many forms of dementia. Different areas of the brain are affected and patients who have been diagnosed with dementia leave a paper trail from doctors. Tests are performed to rule out other organic diseases. Get the doctors who are treating your mother to give you those tests which will contain the results in easy to understand language. This will help you as well as how you proceed with her care. Not all patients respond to medications and just because a neurologist prescribes them (Exelon patch, Namenda, Aricept), does not alter the terminal state of the disease. Each patient is unique, and each patient should be treated with their own unique body reactions to chemicals. As a nurse, I have refused drugging my dementia husband because his body does not tolerate any drugs (except one for hypothyroidism), and he is still in Stage 1 with one neurologist saying he could last 20 yrs. (as of 2009). Do read all the material from alz.org to educate yourself on your mother's disease, and go to support groups where you will learn and share more. My best to you and your mother.
I agree with Augie and will add that your profile gives no details, but it is my understanding a DPOA cannot be executed till the person is deemed incompetent. You don't say what kind of POAs you have, one is for while the person is competent, the other comes into effect when the person is incompetent and you can have both of course. I would get her into a Geriatrician and take it from there.
One doesn't move from dementia to Alzheimer's Disease. Dementia can be caused by a number of things with Alzheimer's Disease being the most common. It seems that what you are saying is that the dementia, regardless of what is causing it, is getting worse.
If you have POA there is nothing to do but whatever you need to to take care of her and her bills, decisions, etc. You will need to have a copy of the POA on file at the bank or anywhere they would need proof that you have legal ability to execute her wishes. But that's it. You can open an account or whatever you need to do. Joint POA usually means either. Depends on how she wrote it up. You can talk to a lawyer to clarify if need be. It is easy. Getting an elderly person to give over the POA is usually the difficult part!
Power of Attorney is given and only the person who gave it can take it away. If they are incompetent and things aren't going well, that's usually when the issue comes in. But POA goes away when the person dies.
You may need to collect a couple of doctor's statements that Mom cannot manage her own affairs, sometimes for "bigger" things like selling a house, some party will need or want evidence that the person cannot do it for themselves. Unless there is concern she would get confused enough but still communicative enough to revoke or change POA, you do not necessarily need to go through guardianship.
Read through the entire DPOA. My moms was written so we could not make decisions for her until she was diagonsed as incapacitated by a neurologist. Once that happened, we went to moms elder law attorney who filed all of moms accounts and estate under my sisters name as trustee and executor. We work together on all decisions and it works for us. If we disagree we set that topic asside to discuss later.
Make sure you get everything noterized and you have a lease 2 witness who are not related to sign the document. I am in the process of doing a POA for my sister, but it's only a medical POA. I think a POA would work the same say. Also, check out the guidelines in your State. Best wishes
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
In retrospect, taking the time to find out what was happening to mom was a great investment. In the long run it saved us time and money by knowing what not to waste time on and things that were unnecessary. It taught me how to listen to mom and look for clues that worked for her and made her happy, because what works for one person is different from the next. The biggest misconception that I see is that alzheimers is the same in everyone that has it and if you put on the patch, they are happy campers. The biggest benefit was that we had a more rewarding 4 years before she passed away. Remember to take care of yourself in this journey.
Bless you for being there.
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