Hi all. My mom was diagnosed with Stage 3A Breast Cancer back in August. Her Chemotherapy sessions had the worst possible outcome for her: she grew so sick, tired, weak, and malnourished (she refused to eat), and was diagnosed with Chemotherapy Enduced Encephalopathy. (Essentially, the chemo was so toxic to her brain that she has cognitive disabilties now). She is currently still in the hospital and has been since New Years Eve. It was a very messy transition getting APS involved as my Mom refused any help, including going to rehab.
At this point in time, my mom's diagnosis has not changed. She has not shown any real improvement with her cognitive abilities. For the most part, she can talk to you like normal, but her short-term memory isn't great, and often times she doesn't realize she's in the hospital and doesn't know why she's there, despite being reminded multiple times. She has trouble reasoning and making good decisions. The doctors have described her condition similar to an end-stage Dementia patient, and believe it's permanent. They do not believe she will ever live independently again. She is only 63.
Before all this, my mom did not appoint me as her POA (and still refused to) and did not have a will. I am going to court next week for Guardianship. I have tried to talk to her about finances but she rolls her eyes and tells me she doesn't want to talk about it.
I am at a loss for even where to begin with making sure her finances are in order, her mortgage is paid, etc. I don't know how to set her up for disability benefits or where to begin. I have no idea what to do to make sure she doesn't go broke from hospital bills or assisted living facilities, etc. How do I ensure she gets the best care while also making sure her financial burdens don't fall onto me? I am only 27 and recently married, I am terrified of being hit with her bills or debt and never being able to financially recover myself (I am an only child. My mother is also divorced).
Does anyone have any suggestions for a starting point or other things I need to consider? Advice is much appreciated.
The thing is until you receive guardianship no one may talk to you. SS will except guardianship, they do not except POA so they probably won't except you until guardianship is granted.
Once you get guardianship you should be able to go to the bank and they will provide you with all her banking info. As her child, you are not responsible for her bills. Do not pay them. Whatever she chalks up is on her. Is there a way you can go thru her bank statement and bankbook and see who she pays her mortgage too?That would be my first call. Explaining the situation and telling them you are legally trying to help her.
My sister did the same thing to us. She had breast cancer. Made no one POA, no will, no mortgage insurance and no beneficiary to her Life insurance. She had a six year old. She passed. Since no mortgage insurance, the house went back to the Mortgage co. No beneficiary my Brother had to go to court to have her son declared the beneficiary.
should you be appointed, at 63, if she was working this could be more about disability filings. Like file SSDI / social security disability income then do that route for Medicaid for her health insurance coverage and hopefully segueway into Medicare in 2 years either via SSDI 2 yr then Medicare path or she’s old enough for regular Medicare. Once she hits FRA aka full retirement age for SS retirement employment she’s going to stop SSDI and go into SSA retirement income monthly payment system.
JoAnn - I think SSDI might be better than early SS retirement as SSDI comes automatically w Medicaid. Early SS is just retirement $ no health insurance so she have to go thru getting on ACA….
I’m not familiar with how SSDI runs as to restrictions on income and assets for SSDI Medicaid coverage as LTC Medicaid does or how community based Medicaid does.
once you have the guardianship document in your hands (btw if possible get more than 1 signed and sealed by the judge guardianship document as some institutions want to see an original and get casual abt returning it, yeah nothing but fun..) so once you have the document you want to speak / meet with some at SSA office as to starting SSDI process to do moms work history to determine what her SSDI payment will be. SSDI tends to be turned down initially and most get a SSDI experienced atty to do the filings and appeals but most SSDI are more “I have back trouble so can’t work” not the end stage cancer with dementia your mom has. SSDI is cumbersome from what I understand; an experienced guardian will know how to push through a lot of this vs you as a newbie.
Just so you know SSA cannot speak with you if you have a POA. SSA does not recognize POA. But they do recognize guardianships as those are signed off by a judge. So don’t frustrate yourself with trying to do anything SSA now.
Yeah it’s a lot of acronyms but SSA & Medicaid are huge programs…. What applies for LTC Medicaid will be different than SSDI Medicaid. SS Disability based Medicaid coverage does not require impoverishment that LTC Medicaid does. SSDI is way different than SSI (this one is low income base line $ for those who have not worked) and different than retirement SSA income.
So home with a mortgage, right?
Any idea of her equity & what owed and when mortgage completed?
Yiu should know this b 4 the hearing as judge may ask,
It sounds like she will never ever return home to live independently so will transition from the hospital to some type of long term residential facility. If you know that this is what the case is, only by getting guardianship will you have ability to deal w house. Mortgage co are ruthless in all this…. Like once delinquent 90 days, they will file for foreclosure. Hopefully she has kept up mortgage throughout last year. Try to go thru stuff to see if this is the case. If you find, foreclosure has started (horrors!) to be quite honest I’d let all this fall to an appointed guardian to deal with first 6 months till mom gets placed & house gone. It’s gonna be a ton of PIA work on you.
I think you need to sit down with a Certified Elder Care Attorney for guidance about how to go about applying for SSDI and Medicaid for future long term care for mom. I imagine you were given guidance already about getting guardianship for her, and that doing so would not make you liable for her bills? I have no idea about that, just throwing it out there (I'm sure there are many others here knowledgeable on that subject who will chime in). If mom has a house/assets that need to be sold first to qualify for Medicaid, the atty can guide you.
Wishing you the best of luck on your journey moving forward, and sending you a hug and a prayer for courage & peace. God bless you.