I'm talking a once a month! I would like to be able to take a mini vacation, spend a weekend with my very understanding boyfriend! We live in a very small farming community and mom knows and likes neighbors, one of which does private elder care but she just says oh I know you need a break but.....! She is more of a fall risk then anything and is 81!
Is it possible to have the care person come over for tea or something the day before so your Mom gets used to her being in the house without the added stimulus of you getting ready to go (they pick up our mood & energy like kids do).
She will never agree, Been there, done that, seen the movie, bought the T-shirt. And she will be furious when you get back. Go anyway or you will burn out quicker.
Plan a weekend away. Arrange it with the neighbor who does care. On Thursday or Friday of that week tell Mom that you are going to be gone for the weekend and Gladys is going to be with her starting at 9 am on Saturday. You'll be back Sunday night. If she fusses, say "I told you I needed a break. I'll bet you'll be glad to have a little break from me, too. This is all arranged." She may get mad. She may cry. But you are going to have a break. Be firm and assured. This is just how it is going to be.
Once you have broken the ice by doing it once, you can consider making a regular arrangement with the neighbor. The third weekend of every month, for example.
You are lucky to have someone she knows and likes available for this task. Enjoy your respite!