How to get my grandmother-in-law to move out?

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How to get my grandmother-in-law to move out?

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My grandmother-in-law was being evicted this past January, my husband refused to let her go to a homeless shelter and posed the question of her moving in with us. However, this meant I had less than 12 hours to decide if she could and he was not willing to discuss any future issues that could arise or other options. So, she moved in and has been with us for 3 months now. We have two kids 4 and 2 and another on the way due next month. We also have 2 dogs (which she hates). She walks around my house with a knife in her hand to "protect" herself from the dogs (who have NEVER done anything to anyone). She has already raised her fist at my youngest son because she thought it was the dog touching her. She lets them run away on a constant basis. Plus, my husband thinks she can watch my kids while we are gone, which means they are essentially not monitored or only allowed to watch TV for the majority of the day. She eats way more than she puts in, increased our electric bill by 200 because she doesn't know how to shut anything off, and can never afford the "rent" we ask for to help out. On top of everything else, she is dirty. She leaves trash and dirty dishes everywhere, including on the floor. She makes a mess in the bathroom, doesn't clean behind herself in the kitchen even so much as to wipe the counters. Everyday I come home to something broken and a disaster.

I have been trying to get my husband to realize I am stressed. I dread coming home and frankly wouldn't if my kids weren't here. I hate being gone over 12 hours and have to come home to clean up after a grown woman. Then my husband spends hours outside or in her room talking with her instead of spending time with our family. I have the summer off and need her gone by the time I am home all day with her and have a new baby. I want to feel like it is my house again and not her's and my husband's. I want to have a place I can go to relax and not be bothered. My husband however, tells me that I am incredibly selfish for wanting her to move out and that I need to consider his feelings. He also said if I want her to move out, I have to find her another place to stay. I have to be the one to talk to her because he refuses.

I am at such a loss! I feel miserable and I don't know how to get rid of her without my husband resenting me, but I know I can barely manage to make it through another month with her here. Please help!!

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When the OP does not return...When the thread evolves from answering the topic at hand,
(as each understands it), and when caregivers divide and deeply criticize another persons opinion or advice, the AC Admins have been known to CLOSE THE THREAD TO FURTHER COMMENT!

I sincerely hope Nikki has her baby, and that all is well by that time.

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In looking over many of the replies to this post, I detect a total absence of compassion:
Telling an 8-month pregnant woman to walk out on her husband and home, showing no concern at all for an elderly lady who is homeless, nor any consideration of the husband's point of view. Wow. No wonder the OP has not returned.
Would any of you give differing advice if her husband had posted this:
"My grandma who raised me loaned her life savings to my wife, who went behind my back to ask for it and then couldn't pay grandma back as she promised she would. As a result, my 95-pound, frail little g-ma was evicted from her home this winter, since she always relied on having part of her savings to supplement her social security income in order to pay her rent. Because I felt my wife was partly responsible for this mess, I felt obligated to move g-ma into our home.
My wife, who has spent 12 hours a day and thousands of dollars (some of it g-ma's) for 4 years trying to develop a failing business, is now 8 months pregnant--against my wishes, but that's another story--and wants g-ma to move out.
The problem is, g-ma doesn't have enough income for a decent rental now and doesn't qualify for Section 8 because she was evicted. So I told my wife to find somewhere for her to move if she wants her to leave.
Wife's solution to that was to make g-ma miserable here by "adopting" two huge rowdy dogs that both out-weigh g-ma, and she can't even go outside our gate to the mail box without them knocking her over to escape. They are not unfriendly, but she is no match for their jumping and bumping, so she tries to stay in her room."

I could develop this scenario more, but I am tired of it and tired of those who would blindly advise divorce and abandonment without knowing most of the facts.
AND, PLEASE, I do not know these people. All the above is MADE UP with the sole purpose of pointing out that advice given without knowing all the facts of a situation may not be good advice. Or even the same advice you'd give if you knew all the facts.

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How do you know all of this is made up? How can you possibly give your opinion without knowing whether this is true or not? You, assuming this is “made up “are giving the worst advice of all!

(3)

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What a horrible situation. I think you need to explore several options. First see an elder attorney and check out your options to legally get her out of your home and also see about the husband/mother bit - is it possible that a divorce might come out of this if he is given an ultimatum? Get all the facts you can as a starting point. Second of all, sit your husband down and tell him quite frankly how this is affecting you and it has to stop at once - or else. But be prepared for the "or else" first. Then start looking for a suitable place - and then be prepared to follow through by telling her that her behavior and presence are no longer going to be tolerated. If someone lived in my home and did not want my animals around, they'd be gone so fast, it would be a blur. Her behavior and habits are obnoxious and under no circumstances can you allow this - make your husband understand this in no uncertain terms. Get professional help to support you and work with you - but get her out of your house at once - or think about a life without both of them. It may end up being your only option.

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Someone suggested getting her into section 8 housing. Get one close by so that your husband can check in on her regularly. My husband and I had my FIL, disabled SIL and dog move in and I almost moved out because the situation and mess became unbearable. I feel for you because I was in the same situation but my husband listened to my concerns. So we mortgaged our home and got him into his own place nearby. He makes too much money for low income services and we didnt trust him with someones rental property. Now I have my home back, thank goodness. So my husband checks on him regularly and we cook meals to bring over. It's something we both agree that we should have done earlier. I hope for the best for you.

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Waiting for the OP to come back with an update and more information.

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Exactly, and so far she hasn’t responded again. I think she knows her husband is a loser and the marriage is toast and what she has to do, but just can’t face that right now given her late stage pregnancy.

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Um...carrying a knife over dogs, unless they are pit bulls..whoa something way wrong there...and obviously your husband is a big ol mama's boy who never cut the apron strings with an Oedipal complex. I have one word for you...DIVORCE. If you still for some reason love this man (WHY? and don't go down but he's the father of my children route, you can find them a better father!) then you lay the law down. Me or Her. If its HER you are paying for the divorce Mister and I'm taking your next paycheck and mine and moving to my own place (or your parents if they are able to help out) May he enjoy paying your child support while you live in a peaceful place and he can have his happily ever after with Mama Messy. If you are the sole owner of the home or the only name on a lease you can LEGALLY evict her. Of course this is a LEGAL process that will require an atty. You cannot just call the cops and say ..make her go away.

As they say, blood is thicker than water, that puts mom over your kids, and YOU his wife. Mom here is NUTS, being evicted and then NOT being able to help with so much as cleaning is your first clue that she AINT A GONNA CHANGE, and that tho she may not have dementia, she definitely is mentally ill. Take a HUGE HINT, this marriage is over, you are nothing to him. And yes, I am blunt, but this is real, you are stressed and sounds like any-lets sit down and talk about this like two rational adults that love each other-is long gone because he won't HEAR you, he is in love with mama.

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It's his grandma.

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If Granny is carrying a knife around, she is not stable. Get the kids and leave and tell him to call you when he has her placed somewhere. Otherwise, she is going nowhere. He is already fighting you and said he’s not telling her so you have your answer from him. You will know a lot about your husband and marriage if he chooses Granny. I would not put up with this for another minute. He is testing you which is not good. Manipulation comes to mind. You already have your hands full. Good luck to you.

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EXACTLY! That marriage is DONE.

(1)

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There are details left out that make it difficult to give targeted advice such as, how old is great grandma? Does she have an income? Is she mentally stable other than being terrified of dogs? Does she have a history of getting angry?

There are a lot of practical solutions being given here such as calling senior services and talking to her doctor. Her doctor may even assess the situation and tell your husband he has no choice but to move her out.

In the meantime, I suggest you and your husband sit down and set some boundaries and write down your "conditions of satsfaction". I imagine the first thing on your list is that your children are safe. If you believe she's truly a threat, then there's no question she has to be placed somewhere immediately.
If she stays, your husband must agree that the situation is temporary. Remember that you are providing a safe, warm place for her to live...temporarily.
Also, your husband, NOT YOU, must actively search and find a place for great grandma. You are a pregnant working mom...you need a break.

I had to practice tough love with my own mom who lives with us. She suffers from severe anxiety and depression. Once she asked me to buy her a gun for protection..I said, what??? Really?? That would never happen!

As a result of that, she is not allowed to be alone with my grandchildren or my pets. I set up a room for her that's super comfy and she has her personal space. that is safe, warm, and she is well taken care of. She has her space and we have ours. We don't mingle much and it works best that way.

I would let your husband know that you would like great grandma to stay in her room when you and the kids get home. That's your family time. And if you come home to a dirty house, your husband has to clean it. I had to do that with our situation. My mom would not do her dishes, she would walk off after cooking and leave a mess. My husband was furious and always taking it out on me. I had to clean it. I finally told her that she had to pick up after herself...house rule.

Your husband will get tired of picking up after her, doing her dishes, picking up her trash, doing her housekeeping and laundry, etc.

Financially I would give her an allowance for personal items and the rest goes to your family to pay for room and board.

This can be done in a loving way. When I finally set boundaries with my own mom, things turned around. Now I can enjoy sitting and having a cup of tea with her without seething inside.

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The lady is sixty six years old and - somewhat unpromisingly - named Cassandra. She is barely even on the threshold of old age; but she manifestly has quite a lot of issues that merit support from suitably qualified people. Which neither the OP nor her DH should even be attempting, really - not good for anyone concerned.

(7)

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It broke my heart to put my mother in a memory care unit, but rule #1 is safety. With that being said, it is all about safety. Not guilt or any other feelings. She could hurt herself or anyone for that matter, and may not even remember the event. You don't need a gun to cause harm or to kill someone. Your husband is suffering from guilt, and he needs to put it aside. His family's safety is number one, and that would include his grandmother. Contact her doctor and let them know what is happening. Will they render any assistance. If they won't the next step is social services or law enforcement. If she took a knife to one of my kids or dogs she would be gone. I would not leave her alone with the kids or dogs, is there any one in your area that can assist, i.e. family, daycare, doggie daycare. At least until you can get her out of there. If you can't get her out of there, then you and the children need to leave; she is a danger. We do not have time here for counseling or judgement calls, your grandmother-in-law needs help. Another suggestion is to stop by the local police department and give them your scenario, and they could probably advice you what to do.
Wishing you the very best, it is not easy being in this situation. Show your husband my note, he needs to do what is best for his grandmother and family. I had many guilty feelings putting my mother in a facility all because I promised to take care of her, but could not when the time came.

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I'm surprised that the dogs don't bite Momma Messy where the sun doesn't shine

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nikki0915: It is IMPERATIVE THAT GRANNY BE REMOVED FROM THE PROPERTY AT ONCE. "A KNIFE IN HER HAND" is the underlying reason why she can't reside there any longer! Good Grief! THAT IS APPALLING! WHAT IF SHE GOES "OFF THE RAILS" WITH THE KNIFE AND THE END RESULT IS EXTREMELY BAD?!!

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Your husband needs to take on the responsibility of taking care of her, my husband had a very elderly mother whose only income was social security. He did the research and got her into section 8 housing. That is housing that is subsidized by the government for people on low incomes. In her case since she was elderly (which I suspect your GMIL is also) she qualified for a senior housing apartment for low income seniors. He also got her put on Medicare. He saw that his Mom was taken care of and not once did he even suggest that she move in with us even though she was a lovely and helpful lady. So if your husband really wants to help her there are ways to do it without having her live with you. He is just too lazy to do the leg work.

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I would like to comment that having a senior adult live in your home would ABSOLUTELY increase your utility bills!!!! We bought my mother a small room heater which she had on all day long until she went to sleep. Our electric bill crept to over $300 a month. I bought her her own heating blanket to cover up with, but she still had the heater going on her room all day. During the night she would get up to use the bathroom and forget to turn the faucets off. Our water bill doubled at one point. Just and eye opener for us.

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Here is the sad news:

CPS (child protective services) will take your children into custody if they know there is an unstable adult carrying a knife around in your home. Nikki, as one of the custodial parents, you can be arrested, spend years getting your children back.

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If you did not have kids, I would say pack up right now and leave. It BLOWS my mind that people burden their significant others with such things. I might be biased because I handle my mothers care alone and would never expect anyone else, but my SISTER to help me (including her husband and my significant other to not help), but expecting your significant others to take on such responsibility is mayhem.

Are you close to your family? I would suggest maybe taking the kids and staying with them until she is gone. I would be on the verge on a mental breakdown with a new baby coming.

Good luck xoxo

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Print these messages out and give them to your husband to read! At least he will know that your opinion is a valid one.

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her husband is the major problem here. he doesn't care. all he care about is his mummy dearest. it's what is called being in the fog. he has to be put in the position of choosing. he wants to choose his mummy, he can lose his family. she needs help and he is NOT going to give it.

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Ugh! What a bind you are in. Please don't feel guilty about your need to get her out. Any one of us would feel the same way, except your husband, apparently.

If your husband resents you, well, that's just too bad for him. He will have to deal with it. How much will you resent him if this goes on?

I learned a long time ago that people will put up with anything if they are not the one dealing with the problem. In other words, if your husband has to be the one doing the extra cleaning, paying the extra expenses, catching the dogs after they've been let out, etc., he might change his mind about her staying with you. "Honey, please clean the bathroom, your GM left a mess." "Honey, please clean the kitchen, your GM left a mess." "Honey, please go get the dogs, your GM let them loose."

Do Not, under any circumstances, let down your resolve. They both will test you, and you need to stand firm.

Frankly, your husband sounds like a douche. Some of these issues were probably around before his GM moved in. It's time to get them resolved, the sooner the better. I'm not criticising, as my husband and I had to go through the same learning process in our marriage. My husband was quite selfish, but (1) I had to learn not to put up with it, and (2) I had to learn how to talk to him without being accusatory or weak. Usually they are quite trainable!

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Where was GIL evicted from? a house? An apartment? It sounds like she probably has some cognitive issues if she is unable to manage her finances. You need to let your husband know you are not uncaring-but your children come first.
Present him with some options-which means you will have to do some homework. There is a free service called “a place for mom” that can help you do some of the legwork. You may need to call 911 and report her as dangerous to your family to get her evaluated so you know what you are working with. If not, your DH needs to take her to the doctor and get a full evaluation done.
Is your family in the picture? Or do you have friends who could put you and the kids and the dogs up for a week to give you breathing room to get some research done.
Your husband will probably need to apply for guardianship so he can take care of her finances to keep her from being evicted again and make medical decisions for her. It is a long process but may be your only option unless she will willingly surrender that to him.
Try to remember she is probably not operating on all cylinders right now, and while she needs help and compassion, that doesn’t come at the expense of your health and safety or that of your children and pets.
Good luck!

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DO NOT USE A PLACE FOR MOM! ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS PUTTING HER IN THE MOST EXPENSIVE FACILITY, THEY WILL EVEN GUILT YOU FOR NOT STEPPING UP AND PAYING THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS A MONTH SO SHE CAN BE IN AN OVER PRICED FACILITY.

Yes, I intended to yell. That hoax of a free service only makes a hard situation harder. They're jerks.

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It's extremely difficult to advise a pregnant woman with two small children and dogs to put down ultimatums and leave - leave her home, and leave her husband. All easier said than done. Hoping you have your own support network to get through this. I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

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AGREE!! so many carelessly say "leave your husband" REALLY? Now 3 kids (the new baby) will have NO daddy, a scared mommy, their life upended, and for WHAT?
Making peace as best as possible to get a 60 year old!!! out is smartest, get DH to wake up. Maybe he needs to talk to police or firemen... and I am 70..and see this 60 yr old granny as Playing (maybe) at DANGEROUS/unstable and yet possibly mentally ill ...at best.
Just ONCE time if she swung that knife into one of the kid's EYES, or face? too late forever then. what about when the NEWBORN is screaming in a crib, and mommy is in the kitchen for a minute? will granny knife the screaming baby? Maybe the mom's parents, a brother/sister or a wise relative, a local pastor (does anyone even go to any church anymore?) can come and talk to dad. Does wither one working have insurance at work? Can a psych councelor or health assessment be ordered over this stress? Something HAS to be done soon...if grant is faking, and it sound like the OP and her DH are YOUBG..if granny is 60, and their M&D 40, then how old is the OP??? 21? 23? could be JUVENILE behavior by the father of these kids. Making HIM & Granny leave and go pay for a room in a hotel is far better (even with cost) than asking a very pregnant mom and two SMALL kids love a home and surrounding they know just to get rid of granny.

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To get Gramma the help she needs you can always call APS.
Husband needs to understand the situation there in the house!
Blessings
hgnhgn

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He sounds like the selfish one. Does she not get Medicare to help pay for herself. If your husband won’t talk about it then I would suggest counseling if you want the marriage to last. They will explain to him that her there is too much for you. Tell him either quit your job and come take care of her . Or tell him it’s her or me. Or tell them both to move if they want to continue. Why did she lose her apartment?? Sounds like she doesn’t have any income. Have a nurse come in and do an assessment. They can help you find her a place and maybe talk to your husband. If it were me I’d give him a test. I’d leave for about a week and see if he could juggle it. I took care of my husbands aunt which I dearly loved. But I had two other jobs and had three boys in elementary school. He took care of her on the weekends. But ended up giving her to much Prozac and she literally flipped out on me. We both agreed to send her back to her sons. Is there any other family members. My husband couldn’t handle the job , I don’t think yours could either. Call your local DSHS office to see if they could send a nurse to assess the situation and find your SG a place to go. Maybe your husband would feel more comfortable if he knew she was being put in an adult family home.

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60 is too young for Medicare, even an injured/ disabled person waits til 62 for it. I had a serious car accident at 60, got SS disability for the long recovery, BUT medicare still not available until age 62..and they take another $106 out a month for that, plus more for the rest of medicare coverage . so something is off on this woman of 60.

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Nicki0915; I can not beleive that there are so many cruel comments on this site this is a HUMAN BEING we are talking about who evedentally your husband feels bonded to and cares about the Grandma must have A mental disease and can not be left alone with herself or with small toddlers so that being said you probly will have to do the research to find grandma a new bome baised on her income and sickness there is low income houseing available with meals on wheels and home health to help her clean up and shower shes probly got Alzheimer's disease , but keep the knives away from her , and do not leave her alone with your babies!! Get her to a dr and tell the dr 1st how agressive shes been ...and to everybody being so cruel about this sick woman and her grandson .....EACH & EVERY ONE OF US HAS A PERSON WE HAVE TAKEN INTO OUR CARE AND HAD TO DEAL WITH COMPLETELY INSANE AND UNTOLERABLE PROBLEMS ...so lets be reasonable in our answers and suggestions this woman has a wonderful husband be NICE ...

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I don't think anyone is trying to be mean but this poor lady is pregnant and has her hands full enough - most of the comments were helpful - calling social services to help - but no one is helping anyone if one person is just heaping on more work for the other person - that's not fair - if he wants his grandmother to live with them then he has to lift more than just a finger to help out. I think she was telling us how it is too much for her and the husband just doesn't understand. They need some professional (elder services) type of help for her. I think most of us just feel sorry for the poor lady who really doesn't know a way out of this -

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First , know I am really praying for you , the family and dogs .
Second , please get ahold of your local Social Services to ask for help .
She is a danger to your household . Should NOT have any access to knives , no matter how simple . Even a butter knife can be used incorrectly and hurt someone seriously .
She has the signs of dementia perhaps and needs an assessment . The paranoia , the feeling of fear , not just of dogs but she is not co-operating on any scale . There is a serious reason she was evicted .
While husbands heart was good , he too is between a rock and a hard place . Guess he is an only child and nobody else can or will take her ?
I am so very sorry that the kids have a grandma that has seriously wrong behavior . It is a heartbreak .
How does husband " help " with her staying there .
She has alienated you and the kids/dog .
Keeping this to a minimum when you call S.S. ( please do NOT put this off ! Someone is on your side ) . You can also call a Senior Center that works with seniors and tell them you have someone who is difficult in the home , her age ,etc. You need help that will not cost 3k a month unless you can afford it .
Any nursing home will probably not take her without medicating her . And that is ok , she must have it or she will get thrown out of where ever she goes .
If this were me , I would go somewhere for a few weeks with kids and dogs if possible . Husband needs to deal with her until he sees why you are done ! Praying he will be honest . If she was always this way, I really feel for him but he cannot fix her . Always here if you want to talk or message me collverlynn . fb

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I'm so grieved to hear about your suffering. This is horrific to say the least! Ignore the cruel comments from the person who said their Mother comes first. Wasn't it GOD who said a man is to leave his father and mother and cling to his WIFE? Wasn't it GOD who also said "I Hate Divorce" and all the horrible things it does to a marriage and family? Whether or not folks believe in GOD, it is obvious to most of us that the MARRIAGE comes FIRST then the CHILDREN and finally the extended family - in that order.
Is it possible to get to a women's shelter? Do you have any other family or friends who are watching this and are offering to take you and your children in?
Eventually, someone is going to call the Police or Child Protection Services with a tip about your in-law running around with a knife, verbally / emotionally abusing you or your children and physically abusing your pets. In the meantime, if your husband is not going to respond positively to this situation, you need to take action to save you, your children and especially your unborn child. If you cannot get long term assistance into a women's shelter or with family or friends and you are forced to be in the home, then there are Social Service Investigative Representative who pose as house cleaners, babysitters. They will closely observe the situation and document everything going on while they are in your home and have the in-law evicted (more like arrested) once they catch them in the act. What a horror you are experiencing at this stage in your young life and especially pregnancy. You have every right to be ticked off with your husband for his distorted priorities and lack of concern for his immediate family, but is showing your anger going to make him change? I like what another person said: BE CALM (at least let them see you are CALM) and make your plan to get that in-law 'caught in the act'- if you have no other alternatives to remove yourself and your children. GOD be with you!

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I'm so grieved to hear about your suffering. This is horrific to say the least! Ignore the cruel comments from the person who said their Mother comes first. Wasn't it GOD who said a man is to leave his father and mother and cling to his WIFE? Wasn't it GOD who also said "I Hate Divorce" and all the horrible things it does to a marriage and family? Whether or not folks believe in GOD, it is obvious to most of us that the MARRIAGE comes FIRST then the CHILDREN and finally the extended family - in that order.
Is it possible to get to a women's shelter? Do you have any other family or friends who are watching this and are offering to take you and your children in?
Eventually, someone is going to call the Police or Child Protection Services with a tip about your in-law running around with a knife, verbally / emotionally abusing you or your children and physically abusing your pets. In the meantime, if your husband is not going to respond positively to this situation, you need to take action to save you, your children and especially your unborn child. If you cannot get long term assistance into a women's shelter or with family or friends and you are forced to be in the home, then there are Social Service Investigative Representative who pose as house cleaners, babysitters. They will closely observe the situation and document everything going on while they are in your home and have the in-law evicted (more like arrested) once they catch them in the act. What a horror you are experiencing at this stage in your young life and especially pregnancy. You have every right to be ticked off with your husband for his distorted priorities and lack of concern for his immediate family, but is showing your anger going to make him change? I like what another person said: BE CALM (at least let them see you are CALM) and make your plan to get that in-law 'caught in the act'- if you have no other alternatives to remove yourself and your children. GOD be with you!

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Wow! Someone stated gma is 66 (my age). She is either mentally ill or has always been a horrible person. Husband obviously comes from a very dysfunctional family. Where are his parents? It makes me sick that people live such irresponsible lives, then expect to be taken care of. You’re worried that he will resent YOU? Ugh, she needs to go! There are resources available for her. She made poor choices & you are paying for them. It’s your turn! Sorry for rant, she & hubby make my blood boil!

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Is she doesn’t have money I’d contact job and family services or see if the council on aging has a social worker. She’s not “ right in the head” and if she carries around a knife she’s going to hurt someone. She needs to move out ASAP but certainly doesn’t seem capable or sane.
Your husband needs to grow up, tell his mother she needs to leave and until she does clean up after her. Why is that your job? If he has that little respect for you , you need to have a serious chat with him. If he won’t make her move, he needs to take care of her needs and bills. Just guessing but a week or two of that that may change his opinion of how fast she needs to go lol!

May sound harsh but you are his immediate family. Are there siblings that can help with her? It shouldn’t fall on a daughter in law when she has her own kid/kids.

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Wow ya all are being HARSH !! REALLY stop calling her husband names hes a good person !! And I stand by my statement..jackie2206 wow take it easy !! Im entitled to my point of view!!

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You poor dear. You know she's got to go and so set forth to do that. She's a destructive force in your whole family and should not be tolerated and you can throw her out with love even.
Because she's being a danger to herself and others you should use that to get her into a care facility of some kind. Walking around with knives just waiting to 'defend herself' is a sign of severe mental problems. Do not take that lightly! My father went into dementia and became violent towards me and others and had to be placed in a nursing home equipped to handle such situations.
She is not capable and I believe dangerous and your husband is an idiot, sorry. To put all of this on you should alert you to how incapable he is and you better think about things more clearly after this crisis is over.
Right now you have a baby coming with a nut case who likes knives. She's filthy and crazy and has your husband wrapped around her evil, smelly finger. I'd be calling around your area for the nearest nursing home information and calling her doctor to tell him how bad off she is.
I am a senior woman who lives in a senior high rise with 140 snakes disguised as 'nice old people' which they are not, most of them.
Take it from me, this will never get any better. GET RID OF HER! You deserve to have your own life and family and home without having cray cray ruining everything!
Congrats on the new baby and learn this now: IF YOU DON'T TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST, THOSE DEPENDING ON YOU WILL NOT BE TAKEN CARE OF.

God Bless you all!

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Debrajoy,

I LOVE your answer! My elderly 97 year old cousin is a sweetheart. She always has been an upbeat, positive person. She is in good health and is still able to live in an apartment (senior community). She does not get along with the crazies who live in her building. The stories she tells me are truly nuts. It’s sad.

She is nothing like these people in her building. Same situation as you have. She has had to call the police on some of them to protect herself.

Before you assume my cousin had an ideal childhood and life, far from it. She was raised by my two great aunts. Her mom died when she was a baby. Her dad was not in her life. One of my aunts was not always nice to her.

When she graduated school and moved out, got a job, married and had a child, her child died at five years old. She lost another child later also. She had lots of heartache but somehow was was bitter, mean or resentful. She will not allow herself to be around crazy people. She’s a very smart, emotionally balanced woman. I’ve admired her throughout my life and wish I could have been more like her. She continues to inspire me.

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Rovana I love your answers.....you do not play, you are a realist like me.....husband definitely needs to grow a set and get the grandma outta there ASAP before something very bad happens to one of his children, wife or dogs.....I would definitely use my phone to video record her wth the knife, leave all her messes for hubby to clean up, video that too.....it’s a real shame that there seems to be no realization that the children could be removed from the home if CPS gets involved, if husband refuses to get her out....like I said earlier, if the husband won’t do anything about this very unsafe situation, then he would find his and grandmas bags packed sittin on the front porch.....

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Right on! Cray cray got to GO!! This young woman and her family deserves to have their own lives and not have smelly granny' with a knife no less screwing everything up!

Mama needs to tell the dr how nuts she is and that she has to leave for the sake of the whole family. And hubby does indeed need to grow a pair. What a dweeb!!

Have a good one.

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I worry to know that a newborn will be entering this equation. I worry that your husband doesn't seem to understand your viewpoint. He doesn't have to agree with you, but he must respect your opinion. I believe that he doesn't want to be the one to move her....it's a cop out. You have tried to discuss this with him, but apparently, he needs you to be the strong one. Please look into other options for his grandmother on your own. See if you can come up with two possible solutions and then give him the choice of picking which one. Don't even frame it as a yes or not question. Someone suggested that you leave the home with kids if necessary. Do you rent or own? If you own, then he and mom should leave. 4 to 2. And yes, hide the knives but also try to give grandma some respite from dogs for part of the day if you want to help her adjust to their presence while she is there.

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The effects of stress on a developing fetus could be significant--hope she gets out of there quickly; the husband sounds unlikely to budge. Poor woman (the poster not the GMIL!)

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