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CaregiverL, To answer your question about getting my mom assessed, her doctor knows the facility my mom is in and he is very happy she is there. The facility sent two caregivers to interview my mom at her house before accepting her. Then I took her there for tea one day to introduce her to her new home before moving her there. That was somewhat of a disaster. She refused the tea and the cake they had made especially for her visit, and she just glared at me, but didn't dare speak what she was thinking in front of other people. Two weeks later I had retained her home care person for 4 days while we moved her to assisted living, got her adjusted, and took turns staying with her, showing her where everything was, how to ask for what she needed, and calming her down to assure her she was not being dropped off and forgotten.
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CaregiverL Nov 2019
Artist, Sounds like you’re doing everything you can do for your mother...she’s probably in much better shape than my mother...who would never be accepted to ALF ...she needs help w everything. Hugs 🤗
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What does the facility advise? They must have seen this before. Wheelchair taxi? Medical transport? They can refuse if person is too combative but are usually very persuasive.

Is there someone you could *blame*? I've told my Mum, now W (her older sister) would want you to have clean clothes on.
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Let’s Put the Elderly in Jail and Criminals in Nursing Homes
by Mike Gamble

1.4 million older adults are confined to nursing homes for the crimes of frailty and dementia, serving life sentences without parole, lying in bed or sitting beside it, imprisoned by helplessness, waiting to die, yet clinging to lives of crushing emptiness.

The elderly would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They’d receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheelchairs, etc. And, they’d receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly if they fell or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be washed, ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes, and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose. They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counseling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJs and legal aid would be free, on request. The elderly would all have private, secure rooms, and an outdoor exercise yard with gardens.
Every elderly person could have a computer, a TV, radio, and daily phone calls. A board of directors would hear complaints, and guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
Criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. They would live in a tiny room, pay $5,000 a month, and have no hope of ever getting out.
Justice for all.

This little story is obviously tongue-in-cheek, but it does call attention to how poorly our elderly are treated in too many nursing homes. While there are many excellent nursing homes, we still have a long way to go. It’s simply not right to treat elderly people as second-class citizens to be managed as efficiently as possible until they die.


https://ouragingparents.net/put-elderly-in-jail-and-criminals-in/
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Beatty Nov 2019
I just spent 2 weeks working a study placement in a residential home, high, low & special demenitia care needs. Not a $$$ private place, a church run place.

About 5 double rooms, 5 couples & other 80 rooms were single . All had a huge window with garden view. Have own TV. Private modern bathroom. Dining rooms, lounge rooms (with TV, DVDs, board games) quiet sitting rooms (with books, antique furniture) 2 smaller sitting rooms with tea/coffee making for family to visit with birds in cages. Sit down coffee shop & enclosed gardens with water features, a circular path to wander beautifully kept. Rabbit & 2 chickens are resident free range in the gardens.

Choice of 2 hot meals or sandwiches for lunch plus dessert & hot drink. Puree food (if required) colourfully presented as normal as possible.

Activities included, church services, chair based exercise group with weight, walking group, current affairs reading, craft, men's group, indoor bowls, knitting & of course bingo!

Family & friends welcome to visit any time.

Clothing laundered on site, washed, ironed & returned. Hair salon on site. Bed linen changed 1 x week or as required. Dental, medical, physio & podiatry provided.

Person centred care meant residents ate in dining room or own room as they prefered. Showered daily, or 3 x weekly at their preference. Were inside or outside (weather dependant) at their preference.

Ok so not much left for spending from pension amount, but enough for own brand soap if wish. Soap shampoo, toothpaste, moisuriser supplied.

Yes there was a code on the outside doors, I accompanied some resendents to a different section to attend a visiting choir & some were anxious leaving their own section. I have no problems with a locked door for safety/security.

I've not been to a jail to compare.
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