I have no help from sibling, no money. My fiance was going to help me with all of this, but he passed away a few years ago. I grieve for what could have been, but my immediate problem is trying to keep her clean without her crying and screaming at me. I live in a county that has no benefits available in my area for much of anything useful. Any suggestions would be helpful?
Sadly, some people with dementia easily become agitated and are resistant to care. I would encourage you to find respite care, because long term caregivers often get overwhelmed in these kind of situations. There are options, It's just a matter of finding the right people with the information.
It’s very concerning that you could become injured yourself trying to maintain her personal hygiene for her. Can you ask her doctor for help? I tend to use bath wipes for my husband occasionally. It’s better than nothing although can get expensive.
Washing will likely go better if the bathroom is kept excessively warm and when the risk of falling is minimized through the use of sturdy grab bars and shower chairs, or a transfer bench if dealing with a tub. Hand held showers are also a better way to wash when seated.
You might have more success if you break bathing down into components rather than trying to do it all at once - feet and legs can be dealt with in a foot bath, hair can be done on "spa day", between shower days the body can be cleaned with a sponge bath.
One other thought - a bath aide once a week might be the answer :)
I learned about no rinse shampoo and no rinse washes during stints in rehab, where they're used commonly to clean patients while still in bed.