Hello, I'm just feeling very blue the last few days. I care for my father (82, with severe emphysema). He's having a pneumonia exacerbation today and is back on antibiotics and is sleeping most of the day.
With Easter tomorrow I'm feeling forgotten by people around me and it's making me feel blue. Dad and I had plans to do something together after church services, but he's having a bad day and we may end up having to stay home. As a busy caregiver, I sometimes feel invisible. Everyone depends on me that I'll take care of everything, but no one thinks of me and my needs. I can see people pulling away - invitations stopping, no cards or phone calls just to see how I'm doing or offer encouragement to me.
How do others handle the loneliness and isolation that can come with taking care of someone who is very sick? How can I get people to understand what I'm going through?
Thanks, I appreciate your thoughts.
I think that it just exacerbates the feelings of isolation during holidays. Not only do I feel alone, but now, everyone of my holidays (which I used to love) is ruined. I am glad that others have shared their experiences today because I thought I was the only one feeling miserable on a holiday....again!
The one thing that I was looking forward to when my mom moved near us was having the chance to celebrate special days with a family member. This is NOT the way things have turned out. Mom uses every opportunity for a pity party.
I can feel my health dwindle and I cannot remember the last happy thing that happened to ME.
But I have a new plan...starting May 1st, I am creating a new regimen for myself. I want to get healthy, have a better mental outlook, and make some changes so that I am not shouldering all this by myself.
On this holiday, I am very thankful for everyone here who have become my long distance family and my unflinching, caring, support system. Thank you and bless you for taking time out of your insanely busy lives to share your advice and moral support with us all.
Take care everyone...have the best day you can manage...and please join me on May 1st for a "new-and-improved-me" day!
My mother-in-law had to have her two front teeth pulled out last on Monday cause of periodontal disease. While I felt really bad for her, I was also dealing with my own mom who was dying of cancer. Mom died Wednesday after a rapid decline of only 3 months of really being sick. So on Friday I took my mother-in-law back to the dentist to get her new bridge with the two new teeth put back in her mouth. On the way out of the dentist office she was complaining about the appliance etc. and feeling really sorry for herself. I had just HAD it at that point with mom only being gone 2 days before, so I asked her 'Gee, I wonder if my mom would've rather had her two front teeth pulled out, or DIE OF CANCER?' She really liked my mom and she admitted she was being a baby and how sorry she was about my mom etc. Point is, I think we all need a reality check once in awhile to put things into perspective. There's always someone worse off then we are, it's all relative. Even though my mom died, there are people who's loved ones suffer for much longer than my mom did, so again it's all relative.
This is my first holiday alone with my mom. She moved in with us in February. My husband and son went to his side of the family for Easter so it was just me and mom. My dad died right before Christmas so these holidays are so hard. We couldn't even bring ourselves to dye Easter eggs this year as my dad was the one that always loved it the best. He was so creative and fun.
I made my mom and I a rare treat of broiled scallops wrapped in bacon and a green salad. We also watched "The King's Speech." I had the volume up to 100 (!) and she couldn't hear it very well, and the light reflected off the TV, and your fireplace looks off balance (???) and........So, how was the movie? LOL
I know how very, very it hard it is sometimes to battle the blues. Sometimes you just have to laugh and know this too shall pass.
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