So, mom's operation got postponed and is now very close to a vacation my hubby and mom and I were supposed to go on (which is already a postponed vacation). My husband and I still want to go. Feels selfish but OTOH I feel like we should be able to take a darn vacation!
Since the surgery is 2 weeks before the vacation, I don't see any way that she will be able to go after a total knee replacement. We drive and it's a long drive, at least 1 night in a hotel and 2 long days in the car.
She does not like to stay alone and has not for like 10 years so this is certainly not the time to start that.
She usually goes to my siblings house when hubby and I do a get away but sibling is having a hard time with the visits but says she'll tough it out. I know she suffers though. Cries every day and is upset and counting down the minutes until she has her small house back.
I can't decide what to do!!
Go on vacation or postpone again?
Send mom to sister's even though it will be hard on sister?
Set up respite care near our home? But she thinks she can go to my sister's so how could I tell her, no, you can't go there and are going to a nursing home instead? That will not go over well. She is still competent - not 100% but definitely with it enough to be fully aware of what's going on, etc.
Keep your fingers crossed for a good result!
Do not ruin your vacation bc mom wants you to come home. She might try that. Cant cope. She will be fine. Dont ruin your vacation. It is not being selfish, it is recharging. You need alone time too.
why cant sibling cope? Mom cant cope? Good grief. Yes they can. I wouldnt cave into that. No its your turn. I wouldnt go home if they call with an emergency, bc there might be one just so you come home. Time for someone else to step up. Your unavailable. Good luck.
My sibling is great, but almost 2 weeks in a small house with one bathroom is just toooo much to be dealt with. She likes/needs to be alone a lot and I can respect that. She never wanted to take mom in and thinks I am crazy for having done so. She might be right!! While I wish she would be able to do more, I have to respect her limitations.
I will find a way to get a vacay for me and hubby and recharge our batteries. It's necessary and so enjoyable!
If there is no rehab that she could go to then I would opt for a caregiver to come in.
A rehab facility is not a "nursing home" even though some rehab facilities have wings in the same building and many of the residents of the Skilled Nursing Facility do have rehab..
(a rehab facility just opened up near me it is a "resort spa" rehab looks amazing and sounds like it has high end luxury hotel type amenities. I would love to spend a week or two there!)
I'd like to check into that resort spa too!!
call the place she is having the surgery and find out how they handle sending a patient to rehab after discharge. They do this all the time.
Found out bad news today - IF hubby goes to FL, he will have to quarantine for TWO WEEKS prior to returning to work and he can not work from home so.....Had to cancel the vacation today!!!!
Hubby and I will do a combo of staycation and vacation in state so that he will not have to quarantine.
But the advice has been great and I will definitely use it in the future!
Take your vacation with your husband. Reschedule the surgery. Send your mother to her sister's house. Enjoy your vacation. There are too many unknowns - will she need inpatient rehab or not...will the surgery have complications or not - that your vacation will be ruined if everything with her surgery does not go according to plan. Come back from vacation refreshed and ready to deal with the surgery and its aftermath whatever that may be.
So, her doctor prescribed home health for her. It works! Even in older people like my mom (90’s), it’s helpful.
The exercises must be continuously done. My mom worked extremely hard when the therapist were around, then she would slack up afterwards. So, she would fall again.
The exercises also help with balance. The therapists are wonderful in targeting all areas.
Mom had to go to the emergency room at times. I spoke to the doctor and nurses in the hospital and asked about the benefits of doing rehab because I felt that she needed the intensity of workouts in a gym setting.
The hospital ordered it. I selected the facility and off she went to rehab. It does help. They push but never more than the residents can handle.
Please ask about home health as well. Mom did a follow up in home health after rehab.
Strengthening the core muscles is so beneficial. They will do physical and occupational therapy in home health.
I hope your mom will succeed with her rehab program. Best wishes to you and your mom.
Would it be easier for your sister, if she went to Mum's instead of Mum going to her place?
Can you talk to the surgeon about whether or not she could be placed in rehab for the first few weeks? I know my Mum came home on day 2 and has had out patient PT and does her exercises at home.
And yes, go on your much needed vacation.
As far as your mom, Medicare will pay for 21 days rehab at 100%. I would try to get her sent to rehab while you are gone. Just tell her the dr required it/prescribed it.
Best wishes to you and your family.
Thanks.