I was treated so badly as a caregiver by the person I was caring for and my family. I had to leave the situation and told them if they wanted to judge how I was doing it then they can do it themselves. My grandmother was trying to frame me for elder abuse and I didn’t think it was fair that I should have something on my record when I am helping. I was also being bullied at work at the same time and they were telling me to end it. It was too much. This also bought back childhood trauma of me being abused for years that kind of mirrored what I was going because my family in both situations treated me so horribly about it and forced me to stay in that situation. The memories coming back was so bad and the words just echo in my head of the telling me to sit in my dad’s lap because he was lonely. Today a memory made realized that they knew a lot longer than I thought and let it happen. Also, when I tried to walk into a school counselor’s office the morning after the first time I woke up to the abuse and she yelled at me to get out of her office before I could speak because school didn’t start. I tried to mend relationships with my family because I felt sad I didn’t have a family but they kept trying to trick me into staying with grandma.
I am traumatized from this event and terrified of public and people I get panic attacks and these memories coming back and I feel like I can’t breathe sometimes. I just break down crying because it hurts that the people that you should trust can hurt so badly.
No one deserves to be abused. Not as a child or an adult. You were trapped as a child but you aren’t now. I am so very glad that you left an abusive situation now.
I suggest that you speak to a professional therapist to help you cope with these emotions. You will never forget these things but in time you will be able to work towards healing.
Wishing you all the best in your life.