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Thanks to this thread I started looking at Hilo Hatties and Aloha Friends...hahahaha..
I don’t know how or if it’s possible to change what one’s mom likes wearing. A lot depends on personalities too of course. In my situation I probably would have said to heck with it and gotten us matching muumus and rolled out like that! This would create a sort of celebration feel...also in some ways I am immune to embarrassment. Not much help I know!
FYI I’m in San Francisco and wearing a pretty and loose tunic and a wool cap
I’ve enjoyed reading the advise to Genekin regarding her mom wearing muumuus.
It reminded me of this advice given out about proper attire for interviews during a hurricane.
A weather station was reminding the audience that it was storm season on the Gulf Coast. If a news van pulls into your driveway, the reporter cautioned, Remember teeth and bras people, TEETH AND BRAS!!
Geaton, my mother used to wear pretty housecoats, but looked like a straight dress. Now when it is a hot day I put one on her. She is so comfortable and looks nice.
My grandma used to wear what she called a "house coat". Not a muumuu and not something she'd wear out in public. More than an apron, less than a dress. Not really a robe, either. Like an unstructured snap-front short-sleeve cotton smock that was below the knee.
Lately I have been wearing a short and shirt like set but are really pajamas. So comforatable. I am done with dresses, tight jeans or anything that is uncomfortable.
BE GRATEFUL MOM IS DRESSED! Mom often forgets her top.....
I own a bunch of muumuuus. They are light and comfy and I really don't CARE if my kids or neighbors see me. They are sold as 'casual dresses' and I will go to my grave in comfort!
A friend just had shoulder surgery. She also has scoliosis, very severe, and dressing is a huge challenge. Yet she insists on tight t shirts and jeans, making the whole 'hunchback' look MUCH more noticeable. (I do not mean to offend by that term--I just can't think of what it's really called)
They told her to buy some very loose fitting clothes for post op as she cannot raise her arms at all. She was crying about not being able to afford anything and I just went online and bought her 4 lovely, large, flowy muumuus. I did shorten then a LOT, since she is very bowed over. She seemed grateful--but I have not talked to her since her surgery. I know that these just drop over her head and she's all ready to go.
I'm 13 years older than she is, and while I KNOW she feels like she's now dressing like an old lady (I'm 65)...at least she CAN get dressed.
On a funny note--for my first chemo when I had cancer, I didn't know what to expect, so I wore a flowered muumuu to the cancer center. DH was appalled--what was I THINKING? I should go back and get dressed properly. I told him this was about ME, not HIM and I needed to be comfortable. I get to the infusion clinic and there were 2 other women dressed in the exact same muumuu as mine, just different colors.
Speaking of bras, Gershun. Men close your ears! When I was a teenager I went to a store in my hometown to buy a bra. I really did not need one I was pretty flat until after 18 years old. I went in the back of the store and put it up near me to see how it might fit. The saleslady came and yelled at me for trying to steal the bra. I told her no I was not trying to steal it and she ordered me out of the store. She proceeded to tell all the store owners about my ordeal. I went to the drug store one day, I knew the pharmacist and assistant pretty well and she appoached me and ask about the incident. I told her it was not true and she believed me but I never stepped foot in the other store again. Sad some people don't listen or believe teenagers. I never did that again.
How delightful this post was! I am way past menopause but it is so hot these days. I ditch the bra when I’m home! Hooray for mu mus! Let her wear them proudly 💜🙏🏻😍
Maybe, it's the name? Mu mu's? How about calling them long flowy dresses. Maybe......?
I've seen so many men this summer with fat, hairy, stomachs. Gag me! But it's better than a man who has spent most of his life in the sun and walks around like a lizard in a speedo.
My father was really bad at knowing how to dress appropriately in public. Sometimes, like when I asked him to help me do yard work and he wanted to do it in his robe (nothing else on, just a robe and slippers), I just let it slide. I went to the local thrift store and bought him jeans and button-up shirts and swapped those items out for other things that were worn out or just ugly. I bought men's pajama tops and bottoms at the thrift store, too, and they were good looking enough that he could have gone to doctor's appts in them, if he'd wanted to, and once in awhile he did. I think the key is replacing anything that you don't like with things that you both like. I think muumuus sound fine as public wear for an 80yo woman but if there are certain colors or patterns you don't like, or they're too worn, replace them with ones you think are more appropriate.
When I take my mother anywhere I am expected to "look nice" according to her. I picked out some of my nicer clothes to take her to places etc. So I tend to wear the same things when I go. Recently she asked me "don't you have anything else to wear". I'm in my mid fifties and am male. So there's not a lot of nicer things for my age bracket in the first place and everything is either for Younger/Older male. Seeing my mother in a MuuMuu would more than likely make me pee my pants with laughter. Pick your battles, I agree with the group if your mother is comfy in Muumuss help her pick out shoes etc to match.
Genekim, I would let your mom wear the muumuu. She is covered and comfortable. What do you care what people think. I got over that when I was in menopause.
Thanks, earlybird. When I wrote my "goodbye" note I did let everyone know I would be around; how could I ever NOT read the Forum. I just will try to refrain from talking too much. As one member once wrote me in a PM "You don't have to answer EVERYTHING, you know!" I look in at questions and answers, and everyone is doing just GREAT without me. Also do make note I actually wear blue jeans. ALL the time. I have one black mid calf skirt that has to get me to weddings, funerals, and anything else where a civilized look is required. But I look forward to MuuMuus, flip flops and mardi gras beads in the near future. I get a catalog from The Country Store that has all sort of old-timey things, and MuuMuus are often featured.
Here is a nice summery, young looking muumuu. The one I ordered is much more fabric than I can handle, hoping it is not too late for an Amazon return. Then, I have to buy new sandals!
Sorry but I have to join to MuMu party too! Add sandals & jewels & Hello! Mrs Howell from Gilligan's Island vibes..
A friend from another background says their 'mature' folk (60 +) give up day-wear for lounge-wear. She said her parents wore tracksuits, matching top & bottoms, with zips up the front, big pockets for the glasses & tissues, in soft fabric like velour - sometimes they even colour matched together.
I muttered something I hoped sounded polite & culturally sensitive.. before she broke up laughing all over 😂🤣😅
She said she used to be SO embarresed to go out with them in public, but now couldn't care less what others thought - whether cute or crazy.
You could always wink & explain she used to be a cruise ship entertainer or in a circus... 😉
Guys...I was looking at muumuus on Amazon the other week. I think I've hit peak menopause! It's so hot & muggy and I just want a loose cover up so I don't shock the neighbors...Am concerned in case I look like Mrs. Roper from 'Threes Company''. I say roll with your mom's sartorial choices!
According to your profile, your mom lives in Independent Living. If that's the case, what's the difference what she's wearing when she goes out in public?? If her friends & fellow residents at the IL don't care, why should you? Then again, you're asking a question in a header format with no details whatsoever, so if there's more to the story, you may want to share it so you can get better comments than MYOB, for the most part!
My mom got a catalogue called National,, very nice clothes for older women ( although all the models appeared to be in their 30 or 40s.. LOL) and alot of the dresses are what I would call muumuus. My cousin in TX who is maybe 60 also wears what I would call the same. They seem comfortable and decent. I agree., if this is the worst you are dealing with then you are lucky!
Thank your lucky stars that she is clothed when she goes out! I can think of far worse things to wear in public. I think on the list of what to get upset about, or put your foot down about this is pretty low on the list. What you can do is Make sure that she can not trip over them if they are long. Make sure there are no real loose parts that could get stuck on a door handle or caught in a door. Make sure that she is appropriately covered for the temperature. If she wants to wear the muumuu and it is cold, a sweater or coat, hat, and appropriate footwear. For decency make sure that it is not see though.
Bottom line if mom is comfortable. If you can easily, safely care for her while she is wearing one I would not pressure her to change.
Yes, that is why I came back, to say buy her some new ones. I just ordered one for myself, cannot believe it has come to this, but they are beautiful and not all are nightgowns. I think I can get away with wearing it to my mailbox. No less offensive than a neighbor guy without a shirt at his age and really obese. I go back inside if ever I see him outside.
Where can I get a Muumuu these days? Mine were purchased in Hawaii, and are long gone. It is what I need to get outside more often, imo.
Genekim, No one is against your personal preferences in clothing, and we are not intending to make fun of your choices. There are people who are against the look and wearing of muumuus.
Does wearing a hawaiian print floral shirt on a man also bother you?
Maybe take your Mom to a beach side restaurant and get her a Mimosa drink.... You have one too, and wear whatever you like. But Mom will be dressed for that occasion.
I've always thought they were lovely, especially since they reminded me of the graceful Hawaiian dances.
I really don't see anything wrong with wearing them in public. And they're probably more appropriate than some of the contemporary clothing with so much skin exposure.
What's wrong with your mom wearing her mumus in public? Most are quite beautiful, and they look very comfortable as well. I'm sure she is just more cool and comfortable in them, and they're really not just for sleeping in. Joan Rivers used to say how she wore her mumus even to entertain guests at her penthouse. If that is the only problem you have with your mom, you best count your blessings!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I don’t know how or if it’s possible to change what one’s mom likes wearing. A lot depends on personalities too of course. In my situation I probably would have said to heck with it and gotten us matching muumus and rolled out like that! This would create a sort of celebration feel...also in some ways I am immune to embarrassment. Not much help I know!
FYI I’m in San Francisco and wearing a pretty and loose tunic and a wool cap
It reminded me of this advice given out about proper attire for interviews during a hurricane.
A weather station was reminding the audience that it was storm season on the Gulf Coast.
If a news van pulls into your driveway,
the reporter cautioned,
Remember teeth and bras people, TEETH AND BRAS!!
Outside, I mostly wear loose fitting dresses that pop over my head.
I am 57, and DONE with being uncomfortable in hard pants.
I always thought that the flowy mumus that The Golden Girls wore were just beautiful. That’s the look that I’m going for now! 😂🤣
Hi, Alva! Miss your replies!
BE GRATEFUL MOM IS DRESSED! Mom often forgets her top.....
I own a bunch of muumuuus. They are light and comfy and I really don't CARE if my kids or neighbors see me. They are sold as 'casual dresses' and I will go to my grave in comfort!
A friend just had shoulder surgery. She also has scoliosis, very severe, and dressing is a huge challenge. Yet she insists on tight t shirts and jeans, making the whole 'hunchback' look MUCH more noticeable. (I do not mean to offend by that term--I just can't think of what it's really called)
They told her to buy some very loose fitting clothes for post op as she cannot raise her arms at all. She was crying about not being able to afford anything and I just went online and bought her 4 lovely, large, flowy muumuus. I did shorten then a LOT, since she is very bowed over. She seemed grateful--but I have not talked to her since her surgery. I know that these just drop over her head and she's all ready to go.
I'm 13 years older than she is, and while I KNOW she feels like she's now dressing like an old lady (I'm 65)...at least she CAN get dressed.
On a funny note--for my first chemo when I had cancer, I didn't know what to expect, so I wore a flowered muumuu to the cancer center. DH was appalled--what was I THINKING? I should go back and get dressed properly. I told him this was about ME, not HIM and I needed to be comfortable. I get to the infusion clinic and there were 2 other women dressed in the exact same muumuu as mine, just different colors.
I am way past menopause but it is so hot these days.
I ditch the bra when I’m home!
Hooray for mu mus!
Let her wear them proudly 💜🙏🏻😍
I've seen so many men this summer with fat, hairy, stomachs. Gag me! But it's better than a man who has spent most of his life in the sun and walks around like a lizard in a speedo.
I would let your mom wear the muumuu. She is covered and comfortable. What do you care what people think. I got over that when I was in menopause.
Also do make note I actually wear blue jeans. ALL the time. I have one black mid calf skirt that has to get me to weddings, funerals, and anything else where a civilized look is required. But I look forward to MuuMuus, flip flops and mardi gras beads in the near future. I get a catalog from The Country Store that has all sort of old-timey things, and MuuMuus are often featured.
The one I ordered is much more fabric than I can handle, hoping it is not too late for an Amazon return.
Then, I have to buy new sandals!
I'm so sorry that a latent love of Muumuus has taken over your thread...but it did draw Alva back, so kudos to you : )
A friend from another background says their 'mature' folk (60 +) give up day-wear for lounge-wear. She said her parents wore tracksuits, matching top & bottoms, with zips up the front, big pockets for the glasses & tissues, in soft fabric like velour - sometimes they even colour matched together.
I muttered something I hoped sounded polite & culturally sensitive.. before she broke up laughing all over 😂🤣😅
She said she used to be SO embarresed to go out with them in public, but now couldn't care less what others thought - whether cute or crazy.
You could always wink & explain she used to be a cruise ship entertainer or in a circus... 😉
I say roll with your mom's sartorial choices!
Really, a MuMu can look very nice with a pretty pair if sandles and dress up with a little jewelry.
I can think of far worse things to wear in public.
I think on the list of what to get upset about, or put your foot down about this is pretty low on the list.
What you can do is
Make sure that she can not trip over them if they are long.
Make sure there are no real loose parts that could get stuck on a door handle or caught in a door.
Make sure that she is appropriately covered for the temperature. If she wants to wear the muumuu and it is cold, a sweater or coat, hat, and appropriate footwear.
For decency make sure that it is not see though.
Bottom line if mom is comfortable.
If you can easily, safely care for her while she is wearing one I would not pressure her to change.
It could be worse!
I wish you well on your new journey as a caregiver.
Maybe it is a 'when in Hawaii' thing for the OP?
Mine were purchased in Hawaii, and are long gone.
It is what I need to get outside more often, imo.
Genekim,
No one is against your personal preferences in clothing, and we are not intending to make fun of your choices. There are people who are against the look and wearing of muumuus.
Does wearing a hawaiian print floral shirt on a man also bother you?
Maybe take your Mom to a beach side restaurant and get her a Mimosa drink....
You have one too, and wear whatever you like. But Mom will be dressed for that occasion.
Is she clean, comfortable, and happy?
I really don't see anything wrong with wearing them in public. And they're probably more appropriate than some of the contemporary clothing with so much skin exposure.
Or are you referring to night clothes?
Where is she going in public that concerns you?
If that is the only problem you have with your mom, you best count your blessings!