Going through stressful time with mom again. She lives in her own home. I live an hour and a half away. Beginning to get depressed. What I would like is for her to disapear from my life but that isn't going to happen. I write a gratitude list every few days. I write my feelings in my journal. Try to distance myself from mom emotionally. Any other hints on how to cope with a difficult mother?
Barbara
You say that you have detached emotionally from your mother. Would it be possible/practical to detach further from her in physical ways? You live an hour and a half a way. That in itself should provide some detachment! How is she interacting with you now that causes your depression? Does she call repeatedly? Does she keep having "emergencies"? Does she tell lies about you to people who matter to you?
I believe you that she is hard to deal with, but without knowing the nature of the contact I don't have specific suggestions. Perhaps you can pick one interaction that particularly pushes you depression button, and work hard on modifying or eliminating that particular interaction. And perhaps this is a good thing to go back to your therapist about. How can you ramp up your "detachment" to protect your own mental health?
Good luck to you, Barbara. Please let us know how this works out. We care -- and we learn from each other.
Barbara
We use the word "depression" kind of loosely. We say "I'm so depressed that my favorite tv series has been dropped," or "The list of requirements for that job was depressing." We can probably get past these feelings without any particular therapy.
But true clinical depression involves chemicals in the brain. Writing feelings in a journal may be helpful, and may even be enough for mild depression. It sounds like you are past that point. DIY methods may not be sufficient. Please see a qualified medical professional -- preferably a psychiatrist -- and get a treatment plan. Often these involve a medication and some talk therapy.
You deserve a chance at happiness. Get some treatment.