My sister-in-law called my sister last week and told her she’s been diagnosed with Cancer. She caught it in time. My sister stated that my sister-in-law says she will call and tell me at a later time. I have been waiting for my call and have not received the call yet.
I received an email from her grandson asking me and others to donate money for cancer research. In the email he mentioned his grandmother's cancer diagnosis.
I would love to reach out to her and let her know that I care and am glad she is going to be alright. However, I am reluctant to call her because she did call me like she did my sister. She nor my brother did not reach out to me.
Please advise and give me your suggestions.
Thanks in advance.
Ann
Nothing is certain. Nothing is set in stone. My cancer was spread already to two lymph nodes in my underarm, a very aggressive type. Here I am 35 years ago and it isn't back. I refused radiation, and did only adjuvant (eaiser) chemo despite what my docs recommended. I made my choices and decided to live or die by them. She will be making her own with the help of her IMMEDIATE family and her docs. Basically, at the beginning, say very very little. I can tell you from experience as a nurse and a survivor, that for at least a year you are a bit of a wildwoman, dealing with all the stuff, and dealing with the decisions, and then trying to deal with well meaning people hoping to help as well.
As that's my advice. Another survivor may disagree with every single thing I said. I love you want to be there for her. So to the best of your ability DO THAT. Tell her "I make a mean casserole. When there's a day you don't want to cook let me know". One of my best friends told me "If there's a night you want to sit, talk and get drunk on white wine let me know; I'm your gal". I laughed so hard. And it was the ones who could make me laugh who ultimately got me through the hard spots.
She will do it HER WAY. Let her. Support her. Don't give advice unless you are truly asked for it seriously. Then be as honest as you can.
Do NOT mention anything about her calling your sister. That's OK. Just let it go. She's dealing with a lot and it's got to be tiring explaining over and over about what it going on.
I'd just tell her that are sorry to hear of her diagnosis and that if/when she'd like to talk, you are there for her, etc.
If you don't want to call, you could always email.