I'm sure my 96 year old grandmother knows she is...but she doesn't know that the rectal scancer that was diagnosed 3 years ago has metastasized to her liver (tumors are present, but no evidence of them "attacking" yet). We haven't told her as we didn't want it to interfer with her stint in rehab. But she is home now and I feel she deserves to know. But how do we tell her?
My mother is in late stage of vascular dementia and has been put on comfort care. There is nothing they can do for her but keep her comfortable. No one has told her this as far as I know and I think it is better they don't. Part of keeping a person comfortable near life end is attending to their psychological/emotional comfort.
Just do what you can to make the best of the time she has left. No one know how long that is.
So sorry for this news. It is so hard for her loved ones.
For those that ask about family, I'm her grand-daughter in law. Her grandson is my husband. There is no one else. she lives with us.
You might want to carefully consider your own motivations-if they are anything like mine, they would be people deserve to know the truth.!
This may be the time to put mercy above the truth, and continue to visit, care for your loved one, let them know you care and are there for them, each day.
Next, ask yourself, after you tell, then what? Then, play out this scenario asking yourself, and then? Next, and then what? See where it goes, because so often, the patient will end up asking for assisted suicide, mercy killing, euthanasia way too soon. Will you be there? Will you be able to be truthful then?
So sorry you are faced with this loss and difficult time.
Love, from Send
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