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my husband has stage 5/6 now but is desperate for company and conversation but he is losing his ability to converse and he is apt to invite strangers to the house, he is very lonely and I don't know a safe way to socialize him when he himself can't converse intelligently and is unpredictable, we are now isolated as a couple period.

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Since you say he's unpredictable, I think your caution is reasonable. I also wonder if he is really desperate for company and conversation. Sometimes, people with dementia are anxious and stimulation through conversation may not be what they are really needing. Have you discussed it with his doctor?

Since you say that he's losing the ability to speak much, I might investigate hiring a private visitor. This person would be a professional who is trained to work with dementia patients and it would be comfortable. You could explain her to be whoever makes sense and have her come in regularly if things go well.

I suppose you could look into Senior Seniors as well, but I would explore how he might fit in there. You might also check with a Memory Care facility to see what if any plans they may offer from occasional respite care, say for the day, while you get some rest.

I would immediately implement measures so that he does NOT have the opportunity to invite strangers into the house. How would he do this? I take it that he is not able to handle the phone or be in charge of greeting people at the door. That would be important for safely reasons.
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I thought of two other things that really helped my husband. Through the local Senior Center he hooked up with a senior bowling league. It wasn't highly competitive. My husband had been a very good bowler at one time. Now he needed a child's light ball and bowled around 100. He didn't care. Neither did his teammates. And they all knew he had special needs and they looked after him. It was very special.

And he joined a golf league sponsored by a rehab center for persons with handicaps. They only played 9 holes. The course reserved a long period of time for them so they didn't have to rush. A volunteer rode in the cart with each participant. The rehab staff came around to be sure people were drinking water. This group included young people, seniors, men, and women. It was the highlight of each week every summer for as long as he could do it.

I hope you can find some activities that are suitable and match your husband's former interests. Being with other people and having fun is very satisfying, even if verbal communication is limited.
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thanks for the reply, the way he invites strangers goes like this, we might be in a store and he strikes up conversation and when its going well he says something like,"we should get together and i'll give you my phone number...he then turns to me to handle it I thought I might go oo........it has only happened twice, but it was memorable and I was unprepared! He tell me almost daily we need some friends and so on......the senior center environment he hates and has always made fun of people who are "mooked out" and even in his dementia recognizes it in others! I thought we might try to go outside more where there is some people watching to be done and grab a snack, too. It is really difficult because he starts conversation that he can't finish so I actually try to avoid contact with strangers and unfortunately most of the family is far away.
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This is so sad! Isolation is not good for you, for starters. So I hope you are having phone conversations with friends and occasionally meeting them for lunch, etc. Whatever you figure out for your husband, try very hard to avoid isolation for yourself. This is NOT easy (I know) but important for you to keep your own mental strength up.

It sounds like you would do well to make and carry some messages on a business-card sized paper. The ones I used (when we travelled) said, "Thank you for your patience. My husband has Lewy Body Dementia." Yours might mention that your husband is very social. You could hand this out instead of giving a phone number. And also in any situation where unpredictable behavior will be an issue. Hand it to the waitress, for example. It is truly amazing how patient and accepting people usually are when they know the situation.

My husband went to an adult day health program a few days a week. That allowed him to interact with other adults. He enjoyed it when people brought in vacation pictures, for example, and he brought in a slide show of his vacations. The program directors were extremely good about doing the entire narration or involving the vacationer as much as possible by asking questions. Every one got to feel like they were communicating. I think this kind of "sheltered" social environment can be very satisfying.

Call your local ALZ office and learn if there are any social programs available in your area. Here there is a "coffee house" specifically for those with dementia. It is new since my husband died, but this is the kind of thing worth knowing about.

I like your idea for outings. And if you carry the explanation cards I think you need not be so concerned about encountering strangers. You can wrap up any conversations he can't finish on a high note.
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fabulous idea, thankyou so much!
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