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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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That depends on what assistance you will provide and what you will get outside help for.
I have two disabled parents. Neither can help themselves or the other. BUT, I have two home health aides that come is 6 days a week and help with them. I have 6 hours a day for myself...sometimes longer. And I have the ability to get away for extra time when I need it. I realize I am very lucky to have this.
That's such a big decision. Lots of people on this forum have "been there done that". In the upper left corner of the screen are three horizontal lines. Click on those and drop down the search bar. Type in "regret" or "marriage" or "guilt" and read the threads that come up. We come from all walks of life on this forum. Details will differ but the themes that run through our threads are universal.
I agree that it depends on many factors. And even if she is able to handle her own hygiene needs now, dress, eat, etc. there is the progression of the condition that will continue. Her needs will increase over time. Predicting how soon is difficult. My loved one went from running her own household to needing AL in just a few months
Do you know the condition that is causing her dementia? Is it Vascular, Alzheimers, etc.?
If you haven't already done this, I'd observe how she's really able to manage in the home without assistance. She may say she can do a lot of things, but that is not always the case. And the abilities vary by day. Some days are better than others.
I'd read a lot about dementia and how it effects the mind and body. I'd also read a lot of posts on this site by family members who are taking care of a family member in their home who has dementia. It's shocking what the stress can do to a home. Loving relationships turn into very unhappy and stressful environments. It's no wonder really, because the stress and constant work must be tremendous.
I'd keep in mind that past the early stage, it's quite risky to leave a dementia patient unattended even for a short while. Would you have help with her in your home?
I would consider if you and your husband are patient people who can withstand someone who repeats things over and over for days and months. (This is common with dementia patients, because they forget what they have just said or asked.) And they may be resistant, stop bathing, refuse medication, become incontinent, make false accusations about you, and stay awake all night. So, it becomes a 24/7 job. Some people get help to come in to the home, but it's still very draining. Of course, all cases are different.
I'd explore all the information and discuss it with your husband. It may put a strain on the marriage, but it would have some benefits as well. I wish you and your family all the best.
I'm not able to tead your profile, your mom has dementia? That's quite a game changer!
How long has she had th is diagnosis? Are you in touch with her doctor, anout what she needs assistance with? Dementia robs folks of their reasoning ability early on, so I wouldn't rely on her assesent of what her needs are.
Another thing to consider is that the earlier you are able to move her to a continuous care facility, the better adjustment she may make. Lots of tjings to think about here.
Momv, my parents never lived with me or me with them, but they consumed every free moment of my time [plus I was working full-time], and neither of them had Alzheimer's/Dementia as per your profile mentioned for your Mom.
A lot depends on how much help your spouse will be, if he will give 100% to helping you take care of your Mom. If not, then there would be a lot of tension in the household as one person is now the 168 hours per week caregiver. That is very exhausting and can effect one's health big time.
Also depends if you can line up other relatives to fill-in so you and your spouse can take some time off.... and if you can take time off, will you be able to clear your mind so that you can enjoy your self? I tried to get away for one weekend many years ago but it didn't work out, I was too worried about my very elderly parents who lived on their own and whom refused any outside help watching them.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I have two disabled parents. Neither can help themselves or the other. BUT, I have two home health aides that come is 6 days a week and help with them. I have 6 hours a day for myself...sometimes longer. And I have the ability to get away for extra time when I need it. I realize I am very lucky to have this.
Do you know the condition that is causing her dementia? Is it Vascular, Alzheimers, etc.?
If you haven't already done this, I'd observe how she's really able to manage in the home without assistance. She may say she can do a lot of things, but that is not always the case. And the abilities vary by day. Some days are better than others.
I'd read a lot about dementia and how it effects the mind and body. I'd also read a lot of posts on this site by family members who are taking care of a family member in their home who has dementia. It's shocking what the stress can do to a home. Loving relationships turn into very unhappy and stressful environments. It's no wonder really, because the stress and constant work must be tremendous.
I'd keep in mind that past the early stage, it's quite risky to leave a dementia patient unattended even for a short while. Would you have help with her in your home?
I would consider if you and your husband are patient people who can withstand someone who repeats things over and over for days and months. (This is common with dementia patients, because they forget what they have just said or asked.) And they may be resistant, stop bathing, refuse medication, become incontinent, make false accusations about you, and stay awake all night. So, it becomes a 24/7 job. Some people get help to come in to the home, but it's still very draining. Of course, all cases are different.
I'd explore all the information and discuss it with your husband. It may put a strain on the marriage, but it would have some benefits as well. I wish you and your family all the best.
How long has she had th is diagnosis? Are you in touch with her doctor, anout what she needs assistance with? Dementia robs folks of their reasoning ability early on, so I wouldn't rely on her assesent of what her needs are.
Another thing to consider is that the earlier you are able to move her to a continuous care facility, the better adjustment she may make. Lots of tjings to think about here.
A lot depends on how much help your spouse will be, if he will give 100% to helping you take care of your Mom. If not, then there would be a lot of tension in the household as one person is now the 168 hours per week caregiver. That is very exhausting and can effect one's health big time.
Also depends if you can line up other relatives to fill-in so you and your spouse can take some time off.... and if you can take time off, will you be able to clear your mind so that you can enjoy your self? I tried to get away for one weekend many years ago but it didn't work out, I was too worried about my very elderly parents who lived on their own and whom refused any outside help watching them.
A great deal depends upon what her needs are.