My mother in law was wealthy, and developed Alzheimer's. She was a narcissist and had abused me for decades. My husband coerced and begged me to take care of her in our house for over 3 years. I did, although I hated it.
He promised to share his inheritance with me (3 million dollars), if I did. This also entailed fixing up her horrible, junky rentals, with rats, mold, and filth. This went on for months, of working my butt off 12 hour days, to help him out. I got no reimbursement for these activities.
He now is saying that "his inheritance", is going in his name only. Too bad, so sad.
Have you ever seen any of the estate documents, such as your MIL's will? Is he correct in claiming that he's the sole heir?
I'm really guessing on this, and you'd have to discuss it with an attorney, but I'm wondering if you have a cause of action based on breach of an oral contract of services for "promised" remuneration, given that he's now refusing to share (or pay, if this is considered a contractual obligation). A "family" attorney (I think that's what divorce attorneys are called now) could offer insights.
I did a quick check for the binding validity of oral contracts in Colorado:
https://www.coloradocontract.com/are-oral-contracts-enforceable/
" If one party partially complied and/or performed with the terms of the oral agreement or if the plaintiff relied on the defendant’s promise and suffered a major problem as the result, the court may still enforce the oral contract."
You might want to study that and try to evaluate whether your husband's promise constitutes an oral contract, and if you've suffered a "major problem" as a result of this breach of an oral commitment. This would definitely have to be confirmed by an attorney. Then consider exploring suit for breach of an oral contract (denial of promised remuneration, something to that effect).
Regardless, I think I'd be looking for a divorce ("matrimonial") attorney. I can't see any hope or value in sharing the rest of your life with such a manipulative jerk.
I assume you have dates (approximate or specific) when he (a) asked you to help and promised sharing financial assets, and (b) refused and denied to act on his prior commitment?
Another thought... in addition to breach of contract compensation, you should ask an attorney whether or not you can charge for already performed services (since he would have had to pay an agency or individual for care) which you were providing based on the oral contract. This might be very "iffy", but do at least raise the issue.
Oh, contraire about the 3 million dollar inheritance going in his name only. See, he is legally married to you which means with a good divorce attorney who can think outside the box, 1.5 million of that inheritance (HALF 1/2) could end up in your hand.
He is legally married to you, which means you have rights under the law to property and assets. I don't mean to sound harsh here, so please don't take what I'm going to say the wrong way.
Your husband is saying the 3 million will be in "his name only" is likely because he wants a divorce and is trying to find a way to make sure you can't get any of the money.
You would do well to consult a divorce attorney now and just talk. Tell them what's going on and what your husband is saying. You will likely find that the lawyer will tell you exactly what I am. SO get in front of it and don't let yourself be cheated out of what you've earned fair and square.
Inheritances are not community property. Only if they're co-mingled with community property does that happen. If kept in a separate account, it remains separate property.
Inheritances are not community property, but if joint funds are co-mingled with inheritance funds (he uses some inherited $$ to fix up the house, or he deposits money into the inheritance account), then all bets are off. If you then sold that house he paid to fix up, he's not entitled to recoup those funds beyond what his half of the proceeds are, and once he puts community property money into an inheritance account, that account becomes community property.
Money makes people change, I'm afraid. Keep copies of financial records so you know if he's co-mingled funds, and consult an attorney.
Is this a first marriage?
My cousin worked to put her husband thru College. She was a bookkeeper and kept track of tuition, books and other things needed for College. When he was done College he divorced her. She took the records she had kept and the Judge ruled her soon to be Ex had to pay her every cent she put out for his College Education.
On the other hand, have you thought about staying and getting things you need? Maybe remodel the house (to make it worth more when assets are divided for a divorce). Maybe buy a vacation home. Investing some of the money into things that would belong to both of you. With that much money, it wouldn't make a dent in the cash to do some smaller things that could be considered half yours later on.
Enjoy life - talk him into vacations to places you haven't been. RV or something to do some travel. See what you can get out of the a-hole that you would enjoy. If you outlive him, what would happen to the $? If he would pass it on to his kids, are they your kids,too..who would share it with you?
See a lawyer asap. I would absolutely get my ducks in a row and take HALF (or more) of everything. You sure as heck don't want to be taking care of this selfish man in his old age after doing everything else you've done. You deserve a life. Go have one.
Good luck. Things can change for the better. Be brave.
I would maintain having a confident and strong demeanor and mindset during this - you deserve more than the way your husband is treating you.
After his ungrateful and selfish and sneaky and manipulative and self-serving behavior, I wouldn't be able to even look at him until this is settled in your favor - and he honored his commitment and promise to you for years - while you were doing all of the work taking care of his mother, and the other property responsibilities you mentioned. It's deplorable that he's now changed the rules - how convenient.
With someone with that kind of character, I personally think you should ask a lawyer how you can get your portion of the money he promised upfront - now - in your name.
Wishing you all the best - and I hope you take care of yourself. What he did is unacceptable.
Do not just leave things off - as your message did by saying "too bad, so sad"...it's not the case at all...Be Vigilant!!
Also, if you don't have any written proof of the agreement husband made with you, record a conversation with him about it where he admits he said it for use in Court and take it to the Lawyer.
If one person is aware of the recording, in Colorado, it is legal and can be used as evidence.
where is the money now? hopefully not in a bank account with his name only.
I am so sorry for his manipulation of you to care for her and to be abused by her.
Document all you can from her abusive treatment of you to the type of care you gave, fed, bathed, washed her clothes. You have a good case for your time and effort for her care and a lawyer can argue for you to receive a compensation from her estate ( bill the estate ?)
Stop taking care of MIL and her properties. Tell husband to get her into a nice memory care unit and pay for it with her resources.
I would say that you should create a sales receipt and detail all the labor and expenses for your work over the past 3 years. Look up how much labor charges for these types of services while creating this receipt. Give him the receipt to show how much is "due to you." If need be, have the lawyer help you to recoup your lost wages.
In the future, get it in writing.
Verbal agreements are legally binding when there is proof that you fulfilled your side of a verbal contract, ie taking care of his mother.
Get an attorney NOW and charge the maximum allowed by law for the services you provided.
Then divorce the sorry, manipulative piece of garbage and take everything the law allows in the divorce.
He will be broke within 5 years and don't you dare feel any compassion and help him. He will get his just deserves.
1. Find a lawyer.
2. Get a lawyer.
3. Consult with a lawyer.
DONE!!