My husband follows me around like Mr. Velcro man. What can I do?
If I'm out of his sight for 5 minutes he calls for me to see where I am. If I drop something he yells out, are you OK? I would like to put him in Adult daycare for a couple hours a week so I can have some space to do what needs to be done. If he had his way, I would be sitting next to him every minute. I've given him little chores that I THOUGHT he could handle, but he can't follow directions and then I end up being right there to guide him, which defeats the purpose of getting him involved with something so I can accomplish my own chores. I'm not Mrs. Organized and a clean freak, but I do want some form of order in the house. I'm drowning in my on frustration and I feel like I'm losing it, both mentally and physically. With the daycare, I've been told he will have to go for an interview and interviewing and questions upset him. He will not even answer the 30 questions that they ask him at his doctors appointment. He gets very mad and says that he is not stupid. I hate to wish for the next stage, but there are times I wish he were in a NH so I could visit him and give him complete attention when I'm there for his meals and then have the rest of the day to restore my sanity. Help, I need restoration and I can't find it.
How long has he been so obsessed with your presence? If he's overly anxious and it's causing mental anguish, then I might discuss it with his doctor. Perhaps a medication could help with this.
I also think that having the assessment done to see if he would do well in the Adult Daycare is a good idea. The facility has to be able to accommodate the needs of all the people there and I can understand how they need to establish a certain criteria for those who come in.
If you don't think he will be able to meet that criteria, I would search for another option. Certainly, they have some referrals for people who are not still able to attend the Adult Daycare.
I will add that my cousin's obsession with certain things did pass over time. She was obsessed with her cat. She would not let it out of her sight. She talked about it incessantly and was so worried over it's welfare. It caused her great stress. She had to leave the cat when she went into Assisted Living. I did provide her photos of her, but after a while, she stopped being that way and eventually she forgot all about the cat. She didn't know the cat in the photo was hers. So, the obsession with being near you may or may not lasts.
www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=shadowing
Some people have mentioned that their loved ones think of the day care as their place of employment and that they are going to "work" every day. Do you think that kind of strategy could work for you? If you tell him he is going for a job interview he might be more open to answering questions. (You could make it more of a volunteer job so he doesn't get messed up expecting pay).
If you explain your concerns to the admins at the day care they might have some other helpful strategies for you.