I care for my husband out of duty and I will for the rest of my life. I feel horrible to say the least. When I was young and in love with "Rick" my parents did not approve and forbade me to see him. I still love him!!! I married "Tom" for all the wrong reasons, just to get away from my parents. Now "Tom", my husband, has Alzheimer's!!! (At a young age) I quit my job to care for him and I will care for him for the rest of my life. Trouble is, it is difficult for me to comprehend that I will spend the rest of my life caring for him while I do not love him. Divorce is out of the question as my family would just not understand nor think much of me to abandon him at this stage of the game. What do I do? I still have contact with Rick, email him from time to time, he's married and has a family. I would not do anything to jeopardize my family nor his. I just wish I could go back to a time when I could have married my first love in the first place! Anyway, just needed to vent, I will care for my husband forever.....just not happy with the circumstances....not happy with how things turned out, wish it were different.....any suggestions?
However, how will a relationship with a married man help your situation? You're contemplating going against your wedding vows with a man who is openly committing adultery. Forgive me for saying this, but I wouldn't trust this man as far as I could throw him.
To want your own life back would be understandable - but you could do a lot better than taking on a married man who is already cheating on his wife. This man would probably never be true to you either. You're just another notch for his belt. You really don't need to do that to yourself.
There are social groups where you can meet with others in your situation - maybe that would help?
Good luck to you - I pray you find the right answer for your circumstances. Whatever they may be.
After my husband passed 12 years ago, I had an occasion to be in touch with the man I dumped to marry the man I did, thank God! He's still got a soft spot for me, after one wife who cheated, and another who recently passed, admits that he wasn't ready to settle down when I was. Probably will never actually see him, he lives a long ways away. Sometimes old loves work, not always. The mother of a friend married an old friend after her husband died, and it was an unexpected disaster. Hang in there.....
I am caring for my husband and honoring my wedding vows...in sickness and in health. I think when I married at the age of 20, I really had no clue as to what I was doing!!!! I just wanted out from under my mom and dad's rules. I am caring for my husband, keeping him at home for as long as I can, I will be making an appointment with an elder care attorney soon to make sure I won't be impoverished as I do not have a pension, only social security. I get together with friends on a monthly basis which helps me tremendously!!! (GIRL friends!) and no, I will never ever remarry when the time comes that I'm on my own.....I never want to be a caregiver ever again! I will be just friends!!!! That I have learned. I still have great feelings for my first love, but know it can never be more than that...we both have different lives now and I don't want to jeopardize that. It's just too bad the way things turned out.