He went to bed last night in a good mood after a big party in his honor. Next morning he accused me of being gone for three hours. I was there the whole time. He filed for divorce but cancelled one time. Then he was confused about why I was getting breakfast started. Since then he has been very nasty toward me. I haven't done anything but support him since he is going blind. I drive him everywhere he wants to go, and anything else he needs done around the house. If I can't do it I hire someone. But mostly its all on me. I'm afraid to go anywhere because he might file for divorce again.
Don't take his accusations personally. He is obviously not speaking from his true personality.
Getting him to a doctor to explore what the "something" that is wrong could be would be my first suggestion. This doesn't have to be a visit "because you are acting strange," but for any reason he would accept -- time for a pneumonia shot booster, doctor wanted to get a baseline recorded as he is now in his nineties, a general "well person" physical, any thing he might accept. Tell the doctor ahead of time what your concerns are.
Once you get a better handle on the health issues involved, that may suggest a treatment plan or a way of approaching his mood swings.
You promised to take care of him, but at that time you didn't know how his health might change and fully what "taking care" of him would mean. Do you still want to honor your promise? If he wants a divorce, would you want to give him one? What are your own feelings and needs in this situation?
In any case, I think the first step is to get medical professionals involved. Then you have some decisions to make.
All good advice from these wonderful people. Read everyone on the thread.
Jeannegibbs was especially helpful.
Some types of dementia present with personality changes. Your husband needs a physical and psychological checkup by qualified doctors. Also make sure that they check the medications he takes for negative side effects. Personality changes can occur from some anti-depressants and other drugs.
Start with the right doctors and go from there. But do take care of yourself. You may need to see an attorney if this illness keeps manifesting in trying to file for divorce.
Please check back with us to let us know how you are doing.
Carol
Of course I can not judge whether your husband also has Alzheimer, but it is very important that you certainly do not accept these accusations as being meant seriously and personally. At those moments, he is totally unaware of what he is doing or saying. The only thing you can do is just to stay with him and try to change the subject at a moment of silence. If this does not help, just let him do, and please, please, please don't be angry with him !! I wish you all the best and give you a big big hug.