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My husband had a stroke 4 years ago, he was doing ok until he had a fall in the garden and broke 7 ribs in March 2016 he was in hospital for 3 weeks he got a bad kidney infection and had to go back to hospital for 2 weeks he then was unable to stand unaided and was double incontinent so it was decided he would be better off in a care home, he is now in a wonderful care  home and is cared for very well, but I miss him so much I am really struggling, been to the doctors and I am now on antidepressants, how to come to  terms without someone I have been married to for 54 years

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This is so very painful, NellieD. Even when you know you did the right thing, it is hard to be separated from your soulmate.

Is he alert when you visit him? Can you visit often?
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Dear Nellie,

I'm so sorry to hear how are you feeling. You have been through so much together its only normal to struggle with all these changes. Have you considered talking to a counselor, therapist or joining a support group? It might help to talk with like minded people going through the same situations. I know its not easy. I think it takes a long time for our minds to come to terms with all that has happened.

Thinking of you. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.
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As his loving wife - it is up to you to make sure he has the care he needs - which you have done. You continue to love and visit him. You are a wonderful wife. I know you are missing him very much & the life you had together. Can you find a group of people, through church or the nursing home, etc, to talk with? Or a therapist? This is a major change in your life and it is so very natural to struggle and have very sad feelings. Please keep us updating as to how you and your husband are doing.
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Thank you for your support, he is alert and knows what is happening most of the time , he can't communicate so we have to guess what he wants, he loves music so we play his favourite cds for him, we have got a wheelchair friendly car to take him on short trips to parks to walk our dogs, it is when I see the shell of a man he is now to the kind caring strong man he was it breaks my heart, but I hope to start getting support to help me to stay strong for him and our family , Nellie
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