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Which best describes their mobility?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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It's called Symbiosis. In nature, symbiosis occurs because flowers need bees and bees need flowers. Each cannot survive and flourish without the other. So it happens with couples married for a long, long time. My grandparents were married 60 years, when grandma died, grandpa gave up and wilted and died within three months. Canada Geese mate for life, and visibly mourn a lost mate. This is nature, this is natural, this is how they will be.
It's absolutely OK that he not visit her everyday, or several times a day, or however often he's going to visit her. I'm sure it's very difficult on him. However, if he feels that he needs to visit her on a regular basis there's nothing anyone can say to dissuade him. He may see it as his duty, his responsibility. And we can't force someone to do something they don't want to do.
It might help if we knew what the relationship here is. If it's your dad that would make a difference than if it were, say, a neighbor or a friend. And is the lady your mom? Stepmother?
Sometimes more detail helps get specific answers and suggestions.
To Eyerishlass Pegstman Vegaslady I was approached by a mutual friend, to listen to the chaps concerns. The couple married 60 years totally devoted to each other. His decision totally
To disengage as he feels he is rapidly "going down hill". But feels guilty, which He realizes is quite natural, but Eyerishlass ans is close to the mark Thanks all
I agree that maybe they both could move into the same facility. My MIL and her husband did that. He was in his 90s and just getting frail; she was 79 with health issues. This was a continuing care facility and as she declined, she was moved from assisted living into nursing and then into hospice on a separate floor from him, but he could be there every day.
Mom and Dad were married for 65 years when she passed. She was in a NH for 4 years. At first Dad visited every day and it was really difficult for him. When we were able to move them closer to sis, they alternated days and when I would go up for a visit I would go every single day thus giving a break to Dad. It was enough for him that she had someone from the family there every day and that is what we did. At least one visitor every single day...even when she really did not know who we were or who was there. Interestingly, this was not her wish and she specifically had told us to find a nice NH and go on with our lives. Dad needed to know that she was being well taken care of. Now that she has passed (a month ago) I do think it is a bit of relief for him, though he would never use those words.
1tired makes a good point. If it is too physically/emotionally demanding for a frail 90+ caregiver to make daily visits to a care facility and oversee care, maybe there are other family members who can visit and reassure him that she is ok. At that age, he needs to take of himself too. If no family available, maybe there are church members or other community volunteers, who make visits. In our community, we have professional guardian services available. They charge hourly, but offer a wide range of services to assist people as they age. I'm sure they would even do "wellness checks" in a facility, and would be highly qualified to make sure the appropriate care was being taken.
It is unclear whether or not he is in the facility that she is in. Many of the answers seem to assume that he is not. If he is in that facility and won't leave her side, what's the harm? If he is going down hill fast, the facility should be alerted that Mom needs more help to take some of the burden off dad. If he is not in the same facility, then it looks like its free will on his part. I have an aunt and uncle in the same position. Aunt is much younger, but has a broken femur. She's in rehab. Uncle is wearing himself down driving there every day & spending all day with her. He's also 93, but I wouldn't want to be the one who would try to stop him.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Meanwhile, who says he needs guidance -- him or you? Maybe it makes him feel needed to be there for her.
Blessings to everyone involved.
It might help if we knew what the relationship here is. If it's your dad that would make a difference than if it were, say, a neighbor or a friend. And is the lady your mom? Stepmother?
Sometimes more detail helps get specific answers and suggestions.
To disengage as he feels he is rapidly "going down hill". But feels guilty, which
He realizes is quite natural, but Eyerishlass ans is close to the mark Thanks all
If he is not in the same facility, then it looks like its free will on his part. I have an aunt and uncle in the same position. Aunt is much younger, but has a broken femur. She's in rehab. Uncle is wearing himself down driving there every day & spending all day with her. He's also 93, but I wouldn't want to be the one who would try to stop him.