He is 22 years older than me and he is in his 80's. Does there come a time when I can no longer carry on a regular conversation with him. He is congnitive, and doesn't have anything but COPD. But, it just seems like he is trying to talk with me, but he is just not able to. It is hard to explain. He maybe is able to, just we are not on "the same page". It gets frustrating when I have to explain everything from my point of view, so he gets what we are really talking about. I guess that happens with anyone.
A medical evaluation is always a good idea especially with a history of stroke and The ideas of slowing down when you are dealing with him and filter the information that you are trying to convey. Stop telling him things that you would normally share. For example if there is a plumbing problem call the plumber and deal with it and tell him when the problem is fixed. Keep away from discussions and superflous information because he will only become confused. Don't expect him to have his problem solving skills intack, he has forgotten and just becomes frustrated and fails to understand any delails and gets angry.
As far as hearing aids are concerned. Even non demented males "forget' to put them in, so don't waste $4000 on them, if you can get them from the VA all well and good.
As he has COPD part of the problem may be decreased oxygen getting to his brain and increasing his problems.
Sadly this is the time to really take care of yourself and develop outside interests and friends.
Yeahhhh, you can take him to the doctor (again and again)... who will tell you he is old and demented. Though, those visits will bring more stress to your husbands world. He seems like a nice guy! Or why would you spend your life next to him despite that age difference? Just love him. Give him little more space... and, if you need a nice long conversation, join woman's club in your church! You can have so much fun there...:)
Anyway, yeah, patience is key here. Sometimes everything you do with an alz patient takes forever.
What Marksburg said for sure...
And Busy, that's awesome. :)
My husband very suddenly developed symptoms that were later diagnosed as Lewy Body Dementia. When I say "suddenly" I mean he had a neurological evaluation in May and was found to be "normal for a man his age" and in June he had a total meltdown. (The evaluation was in connection with a sleep disorder, not for any signs of dementia.)
A few years into dementia, one test he had revealed that his memory problems involved mostly the "attentive" side -- the trouble was in taking in information, rather than retrieving it from memory. Boy, did that ring a bell with me! For months before his breakdown I had been feeling neglected because he just didn't seem to be paying attention. Even though that didn't show up on his pre-diagnosis exam, I noticed it, but just didn't know that the problem was in his brain, not in his devotion or interest in me.
It really is helpful to know (at least tentatively) what you are dealing with. I suggest the help of a behavioral neurologist and/or a geriatric psychiatrist.
Best wishes to both of you!
;-)
If your husbands difficulties are new get him to his neurologist as fast as you can.
I wish both of you the best.
If he still is able to read, writing the short question on a sheet of paper, pointing to the question (word by word) if necessary as verbally asking it may also help. However, I read it only once. Letting the elder hold the paper afterword.
Good luck.