He constantly verbally abuses me. Calls me stupid, no matter what I do for him. He is verbally abusive and sarcastic, I have many medical issues myself but he is really adding to them. I am depressed and take my medicine but it all goes back to him. He does not shower daily, I have to fight with him and still does not. If he is going for a doctors appt. he will and if he goes to the gym he will but that's it. He sometimes smells so bad and his room is horrid. We have 2 floor home which is a killer for me to clean, he does not care and tells me just leave it and not clean. I have my adult son living with us, (thank God) but I really do not know how much more I can put up with. What do I do with him. You can not reason with him at all so no use even talking. Most of the time you can not have a conversation with him. He talks crazy. What do I do.
How old is your husband?
If he's been this way in the past, he is not going to change. It will get worse.
You and your son need to carefully make plans to take care of yourselves.
If your husband is not suffering from dementia, it may be depression, or something else medical or psychological. If he won't be helped, then you have no alternative but to look out for you.
If your husband does have some kind of dementia going on, then you need to call your area agency on aging and ask for a social worker to come do an assessment in the home, to get you connected to help. Heck, I might call them anyway. That social worker visit might be the foot in the door you need to make positive changes happen.
There are medications that can help for a while. They should be talking to both of you about what to expect and how to respond. When to worry and when to call 911. Some doctors are just so hamfisted at this because it makes them feel unprepared - because they ARE!
A geriatrician will be better. They specialize in old age care, just as a pediatrician specializes in children and has special training on it.
Doctors who fail to refer their dementia patient to a geriatrician and neurologist ought to be smacked with their stethoscope.