Husband and I took my mom in four months ago, agreeing that we would take her in (on my siblings' request -- 7 of them!... 6 older and 1 younger) and my siblings would help take her to her doctor appointments, get her address changed and other obligations taken care of. Unfortunately, the majority of them ended up doing nothing. On top of that, when I pretty much pleaded for their help as promised, they started attacking me, cursing my family and my children "ten folds", saying we were going to hell, for us to stay away from them as we are no longer part of their family, etc. We no longer talk to my siblings.
I attended a family meeting a couple of months ago and couldn't believe my ears when my mother lied to them about my husband and I right in front of me. It was very hurtful and I was told by another sister that my mom said a bunch of things to her separately, i.e., she asked me to translate some paperwork for her and I just yelled at her, husband and I don't cook for her, etc. My mom has never been an easy person to live with. I am 26 years old and haven't lived with her since I was 12. I work full-time and I also go to school.
With all of this drama, especially the fact that my siblings don't do anything for my mom (as promised) but have the audacity to attack us repeatedly, my husband wants my mom out. I understand where he is coming from as I have been stressed out to the max as well. My grades were falling and I became very scattered at work. I also started to fall into a depression and sometimes thought about leaving my mom and my husband alone in the home. My husband says either she goes, or he goes. We have two little girls together. My siblings keep saying they'll find an alternate home for her but it's been over one month and we were told they haven't done so.
I honestly can't live with my mom, but I feel guilty for not letting her stay. Of course we are just trying to pressure the siblings to meet their end of the bargain and find her a place already. I just hate being stuck in the middle of it all. Help?!
The thought of being single with two children and a dependent is so much worse than the guilt of finding an alternative for your mom where she may be better off.
Either way, good luck to you and I look forward to seeing your updates.
Moore2come
I also agree with all the advice to seek out, on your own a care facility, for your mother. I am amazed that with all you already have on your plate, you can adequately care for you Mom anyway. Your first responsibility is to your husband and children. If your siblings see that you are at the end of your rope, they may step up and begin to help out but don't count on it.
They have many suggestions and are a wealth of knowledge. Not knowing your mother's financial situation - I would start with Elder Services and go from there. You will figure something out even if it is on your own. Thinking of you.