My husband has become verbally abusive since he decided he doesn't need insulin anymore. What can I do to help him? I know that I can't force feed his insulin but I need some suggestions as to what to do to help him and to relieve the added stress on myself. Can you please help?
I may start a new thread about this but my husband is heading down the same path...I am a little beside myself, because his OSA which is clearly getting worse was actually recommended for treatment nearly A YEAR AND A HALF AGO and he had not told me, he did not keep a sleep clinic appointment he was given, and now the wait is going to be months and I will have to be on his case to even get him to go. Even AFTER the appointment today where the doc told him he could just "wake up dead" or lose his health to pulmonary hypertension, he started in telling me it was "just his sinuses" again. HE fully expects to outlive ME, though he is 9 years older, and that's not as crazy as it sounds because he most definitely has better genes for longevity and no diabetes, but his weighing over 300 lbs most of his recent adult life is going to wreck that for both of us if things do not change.
Men can be so D@M% stubborn, (OK gals can be too), even if it kills them, and even if it hurts our hearts every day...
How is your husband and how are you? I hope things are better than back in February.
Give us an update.
I hope you find some peace in this challenging situation. I'm also wondering if the VA would have counselors who could intervene, even though you're not yet qualified for Aide and Attendance. Is your husband getting medical care through the VA? They've stepped up their depression screening and might have some resources to help.
That might be the reason he feels insulin doesn't work. I'm wondering if the amputation was (a) in part the source of his anger and (b) the turning point for any compliance that might have previously existed.
I don't think the issue at this point is whether it worked, but whether it will prevent any further diabetic related issues, such as diabetic retinopathy.
I'm reluctant to offer hard advice rather than helpful advice but I think he's made his decision and there's nothing you can do. He's clearly hostile to you; it may be that he's reached a point at which he's not just going to cooperate but that you're right in the line of fire. The husband you married and knew for years may have morphed into a different personality.
On the other hand, without insulin, he's going to suffer more consequences, and that might be the wake-up call that shocks him into compliance.
I agree that you can't allow yourself to be verbally abused. I think the hardest part of this situation is what I see as someone who's changed so much he's not the person you wouldn't have wanted to lose.
Wish I could think of some positive suggestions, but it does seem as though he's intent on doing what he wants to do, regardless of the consequences.
If my blood sugars get out of whack, I get crabby! This has always been a temporary situation so I don't know if I'd get verbally abusive if it went on indefinitely, but it wouldn't surprise me.
When he is calm and in a stable mood (is this ever the case now?) talk with him. "I want to support you in the medical decisions you make, but have you realized that being off insulin has affected our relationship? You are now verbally abusive toward me. I don't deserve that, and I wish you'd reconsider the insulin issue for the sake of our marriage. I'll not hang around and be abused. I will leave your presence when that happens." If he interupts, goes into a rage, won't let you finish talking, leave the room. Put your thoughts in writing and give it to him, as a kind of notice that verbal abuse is not acceptable.
I am so sorry this is going on. He is too young to give up, especially since he was doing pretty well after the surgery.
A doctor can't force him to use insulin, either, but I certainly hope his doctors are aware of what is going on.
Is he on an anti depressant? Has he seen a psychiatrist?
No, you can't force him to take insulin. But you also can absent yourself when he becomes abusive. Leave the room, leave the house, leave period. No one should put up with abuse, verbal or otherwise.