My husband has become verbally abusive since he decided he doesn't need insulin anymore. What can I do to help him? I know that I can't force feed his insulin but I need some suggestions as to what to do to help him and to relieve the added stress on myself. Can you please help?
If my blood sugars get out of whack, I get crabby! This has always been a temporary situation so I don't know if I'd get verbally abusive if it went on indefinitely, but it wouldn't surprise me.
When he is calm and in a stable mood (is this ever the case now?) talk with him. "I want to support you in the medical decisions you make, but have you realized that being off insulin has affected our relationship? You are now verbally abusive toward me. I don't deserve that, and I wish you'd reconsider the insulin issue for the sake of our marriage. I'll not hang around and be abused. I will leave your presence when that happens." If he interupts, goes into a rage, won't let you finish talking, leave the room. Put your thoughts in writing and give it to him, as a kind of notice that verbal abuse is not acceptable.
I am so sorry this is going on. He is too young to give up, especially since he was doing pretty well after the surgery.
A doctor can't force him to use insulin, either, but I certainly hope his doctors are aware of what is going on.
I hope you find some peace in this challenging situation. I'm also wondering if the VA would have counselors who could intervene, even though you're not yet qualified for Aide and Attendance. Is your husband getting medical care through the VA? They've stepped up their depression screening and might have some resources to help.
Is he on an anti depressant? Has he seen a psychiatrist?
No, you can't force him to take insulin. But you also can absent yourself when he becomes abusive. Leave the room, leave the house, leave period. No one should put up with abuse, verbal or otherwise.
See All Answers