My husband was a widower when I met him. His first wife did not want him to be with another woman (even though he was only 44 at her time of death) and she insisted on getting a joint burial plot with both of their names and birth dates and her deceased date. My husband is now 71 and we have been together for 25 years (married 20).
I should state that I do not care where my husband is placed when he passes. I only care that we have spent all of our time very happy while he is alive.
However, he has decided to be cremated (like me) and wants to be with me in a spot that we choose together.
Should we just leave his half of the burial plot empty ? or bury his single brother there and change name and date(but he didn't get along with first wife)? or maybe I should just bury husband with first wife?
If I go first, this will not be a problem because my husband can decide!
since he and his wife had homes in multiple states, she wanted to know where he wanted to be buried...his reply..."surprise me"
Fast forward 20 years and mom finally remarries. Step dad passed ten years ago. He was cremated and lives in his urn in her bedroom. When mom passes, we will cremate her, open her side of the grave, and place them both inside. We will add an additional marker or engraving to memorialize step dad.
At our family plot that my grandfather bought it costs us $2000 to open the grave to bury my brother’s ashes. But any relative can be buried there forever. If relatives die close together they will remove them from the casket and place the bones in a bag to make room for a new casket. That’s what I was told by the office staff. My brother was in an urn because he was cremated and daddy died years before.
Cemeteries are very sacred here. We have a huge Catholic community and on All Saints Day the cemeteries are packed with people. The florist do well here.
Many families even have picnics on the grounds. Children play in the cemetery. I went to the cemetery often as a child. It’s common in New Orleans.
We have unique cemeteries. Some are very beautiful such as Lake Lawn Metairie Cemetery. Anne Rice’s husband is buried there and other famous people.
His tomb is amazing, with stained glass windows. God knows how much was spent on his resting place. The wealthy people here have elaborate graves and mausoleums. They are like small homes, some even have wrought iron gates. Some are built like pyramids. Huge statues, etc. As I said, unique.
Whenever I have seen cemeteries elsewhere with a below ground grave and a simple headstone it seems so plain to me because ours are even referred to as ‘Cities of the Dead.’ They are very beautiful.
St. Louis No. 1, the oldest cemetery has interesting people buried there such as Marie Laveau, Creole Queen of Voodoo.
The cemetery tours here are very popular. Not all of our cemeteries are in safe neighborhoods so it’s better to take a tour if you don’t know our city.
New Orleans has a culture of it’s own, definitely not ‘anywhere USA.’ Many claim it’s very haunted. Some of the plantation homes in Louisiana have cemeteries on the grounds.
I've also noticed that some cemeteries are excellent botanical gardens--in fact, sometimes better than parks specifically labeled as botanical gardens (or arboreta).
However, he didn't want to be buried with her and we wound up purchasing a plot for both of us and I purchased a headstone years before he passed with our information on it, names, dates of birth and date of our marriage.
Before he passed, he told me to go ahead and cremate him and he gave me permission not to have a wake or a funeral. At the moment, he is on my hearth awaiting my decision of what I want to do with the ashes. I chose The Living Urn and planted a tree, he was supposed to be under the tree but for some reason, I decided not to do that - and the tree died! The Living Urn sent me a replacement tree and if it survives, I can still put my DH's ashes there. But since I have the plot, I can also put him in the cemetery.
There is no law stating that a burial plot must be used. I did put DH's date of death on our headstone and he has his Veteran's Plaque placed at the cemetery - but the grave is still empty.
You don't have to do anything with the existing plot. Follow your heart. It's paid for, owes you nothing, don't let a piece of ground get you down.