Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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If one or both of your grandparents are mentally sound, then no your mother cannot force them to leave their home.
That does not mean that it is a good idea for you to become your grandparents' full-time caregiver. Not necessarily better for them, certainly not better for you.
Rather than get into conflict with your mother by supporting your grandparents in a choice that may not be in their best interests overall, keep talking to all of them - your mother, your grandparents, other family members perhaps - about all of the possible options.
If you weren't living with and taking care of your grandparents, what would you be doing?
You are deluding yourself. You say in your headline:
"grandparents who are very high functioning but need help a lot"
Then, when you want to reason FOR your grandparents' staying at home, it suddenly becomes:
"I only help with small things."
They need help a lot? They need help only with small things?
Moreover, your grandmother has dementia. This is not going to improve. The time will come when your grandfather will need 24/7 support on the premises. Which means not in a separate apartment downstairs, but sharing the space.
I don't think it's a good idea for them to move to your mother's home, either. I'm pretty confident there will soon be a loud consensus from the forum on this.
I strongly recommend that the four of you, over a series of conversations, preferably with input from professionals, look your grandparents' prospects in the face and develop a plan that will work for all of you.
By the way. You think your mother is all about the money, that's why she wants to move them out.
The outside observer is bound to retort that you love your little apartment in their basement. But that's got nothing to do with why you want them to stay?
I don't mean to be unkind. The trouble is that your family's situation is fraught with emotion and worry, and people's practical thinking goes haywire. Remember that all of you want all of you to be as safe, healthy and happy as possible, given the challenges that you all face. You need each others' help.
As things are right now my grandparents can and do care for themselves. I only help with small things like making phone calls since my grandpa's hard of hearing and grandma's suffering from dementia. I have lived here for a year and I love being with them. My issue is that I fear my mother's motives are not pure. My grandparents have stated time and again that they don't want to leave their home and I'm more than willing to stay with them. I have my own apartment in the basement and I love it here. If they move to my mother's not only will they lose their home but also their church and friends. And they will have to do stairs which they don't have at their house. It breaks my heart but I truly think it's all about the money
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
That does not mean that it is a good idea for you to become your grandparents' full-time caregiver. Not necessarily better for them, certainly not better for you.
Rather than get into conflict with your mother by supporting your grandparents in a choice that may not be in their best interests overall, keep talking to all of them - your mother, your grandparents, other family members perhaps - about all of the possible options.
If you weren't living with and taking care of your grandparents, what would you be doing?
You are deluding yourself. You say in your headline:
"grandparents who are very high functioning but need help a lot"
Then, when you want to reason FOR your grandparents' staying at home, it suddenly becomes:
"I only help with small things."
They need help a lot? They need help only with small things?
Moreover, your grandmother has dementia. This is not going to improve. The time will come when your grandfather will need 24/7 support on the premises. Which means not in a separate apartment downstairs, but sharing the space.
I don't think it's a good idea for them to move to your mother's home, either. I'm pretty confident there will soon be a loud consensus from the forum on this.
I strongly recommend that the four of you, over a series of conversations, preferably with input from professionals, look your grandparents' prospects in the face and develop a plan that will work for all of you.
By the way. You think your mother is all about the money, that's why she wants to move them out.
The outside observer is bound to retort that you love your little apartment in their basement. But that's got nothing to do with why you want them to stay?
I don't mean to be unkind. The trouble is that your family's situation is fraught with emotion and worry, and people's practical thinking goes haywire. Remember that all of you want all of you to be as safe, healthy and happy as possible, given the challenges that you all face. You need each others' help.