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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Not sure if she can walk or talk. She only speaks when my brother comes around for 15-30 minutes . She screams dirty words at me. That is the only time she speaks
Are you changing her in bed or standing in the bathroom? Given that she stiffens up and throws herself around it might be best to change her in bed. Can you give her something to hold while you change her? When rolling her to remove brief and to clean if you are rolling her to her right side take her left arm and have her hold on to a bed rail or the side of the bed. That will more easily allow her to roll to the side. When it comes to the other side take the right arm and bring it over and have her hold the other bed rail. When you roll to the right or left place your hand on the shoulder and hip and help her roll, or best use the sheet to help roll her this way there is little pressure on the body parts it is even pressure the length of the body. Even as she is screaming at you talk to her in quiet tones and tell her everything you are going to do before you do it.
It's so difficult dealing with the later mid to late stage dementia patients where they can no longer communicate effectively with you. Is it possible your mother is in pain? Some osteoporosis patients break bones without a fail. My mother has some issues with painful joints from her arthritis and osteoarthritis we address with whirlpool baths, iced compression wraps, and mostly OTC anti-inflammatories and pain medications. Some days Mom pops up and uses her walker to navigate to the bathroom. Sometimes she stands and tells me she can't make because her knee hurts too much.
We can get into habits of care giving focused too much on getting a particular task completed too and sometimes ignoring the person; this is especially easy when the senior is no longer communicating or acting like the pre-illness parent we remember. I try to make sure I touch my mother in enjoyable ways as much as possible. Following a daily bath or wash up, I apply lotion and massage it into her skin getting every attention to areas where I know her arthritis is painful. I try to talk with her. We may have the same basic conversation about the weather and how it will impact what the kids will be doing every day for a month, but she feels better and is easier to care for when we have those conversations. Sometimes when she's tired I'm mostly talking to her, but I think it still matters.
I think when Mom expects your touches to be pleasant, it's easier when tell when something is hurtful even when she doesn't verbally communicate it. If she has something painful you are not aware of, it's possible some movement during changing her is painful enough she is resisting changing because of it. Your voice continuing a monologue during changing could also be calming.
Unfortunately dementia often affects word selection too. My father's speech became filled with vulgarities. I'm sorry your mother is yelling hurtful things at you, but please remember a lot of them are likely dementia driven and not really her fault at this point.
I'm sorry you and your mother are having such difficult days and I hope you find some of this helpful to your situation.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Given that she stiffens up and throws herself around it might be best to change her in bed.
Can you give her something to hold while you change her?
When rolling her to remove brief and to clean if you are rolling her to her right side take her left arm and have her hold on to a bed rail or the side of the bed. That will more easily allow her to roll to the side. When it comes to the other side take the right arm and bring it over and have her hold the other bed rail. When you roll to the right or left place your hand on the shoulder and hip and help her roll, or best use the sheet to help roll her this way there is little pressure on the body parts it is even pressure the length of the body.
Even as she is screaming at you talk to her in quiet tones and tell her everything you are going to do before you do it.
We can get into habits of care giving focused too much on getting a particular task completed too and sometimes ignoring the person; this is especially easy when the senior is no longer communicating or acting like the pre-illness parent we remember. I try to make sure I touch my mother in enjoyable ways as much as possible. Following a daily bath or wash up, I apply lotion and massage it into her skin getting every attention to areas where I know her arthritis is painful. I try to talk with her. We may have the same basic conversation about the weather and how it will impact what the kids will be doing every day for a month, but she feels better and is easier to care for when we have those conversations. Sometimes when she's tired I'm mostly talking to her, but I think it still matters.
I think when Mom expects your touches to be pleasant, it's easier when tell when something is hurtful even when she doesn't verbally communicate it. If she has something painful you are not aware of, it's possible some movement during changing her is painful enough she is resisting changing because of it. Your voice continuing a monologue during changing could also be calming.
Unfortunately dementia often affects word selection too. My father's speech became filled with vulgarities. I'm sorry your mother is yelling hurtful things at you, but please remember a lot of them are likely dementia driven and not really her fault at this point.
I'm sorry you and your mother are having such difficult days and I hope you find some of this helpful to your situation.