So, how will I know? She still takes showers on her own, but she will forget to put on her pull ups. She is on eating meds and still eating, but has trouble with chicken and pork. The nurse said my mother's face is plain, so what does that mean? I have noticed she thinks of me as her sister, not her daughter.
I am so sorry that you are going through this struggle with your mom.
Sending hugs and support your way.
As for the difficulty eating - choking on meat is scary as heck and often one of the first signs of swallowing dysfunction, she probably should only be given minced moist meats now and checked for dysphagia.
Someone with dementia will only continue to get worse and it sounds like your mother is pretty far along in hers with her swallowing issues and not knowing who you are.
The best thing you can do now is to get your ducks in a row as far as who will take care of your mother when you are no longer able. I hope you're thinking that far in advance.
It doesn't really matter what stage a loved one is in as each different dementia(and there are 100's)has different life expectancies. So unless you know exactly what type of dementia your mother has, you will be left guessing.
And just as an example, vascular dementia has a life expectancy of just 5 years, and Lewy Body dementia 5-7 years, while Alzheimer's can go on for 20+ years.
I wish you well as you take this journey with your mother.
I think it would be best to ask the nurse herself what she means, because I have utterly no idea what that means.
As to the stage, they are not predictable. You can get a good idea of what the stages ARE by looking up "staging dementia" online. But your Mom is unlikely to fall neatly into some categorical slot.
The one thing you need to know about dementia is that it is individual for each person, and progresses on an individual timeline, different for each person. Daily you see what you see, and that--to be honest--is where you are for that day, that moment.
As the weeks and months pile up and accumulate you will see that there are more and more problems, and less and less to be done about them. Eventually you may approach a time when you cannot do hands on 24/7 care of your Mom without giving up your entire life to it. That is a time of decision making for your own life.
Your mom's doctor is the best one to discuss her individual case with. He/she knows your mom holistically. That is to say knows her history, her general health, her attitude. Can give you the best diagnosis for now and prognosis for the future. But even for medical there is a lot of guesswork involved. We are each as unique as our own thumbprint.
I wish you good luck.
https://www.thegardens.com/understanding-dementia-stages
Stages can overlapse too. If you go to You tube, put in the search "Alzheimers video". There is one thatvisca cartoon with a yellow brain. I found this was a good one explaining how the brain is effected. My Mom did not have ALZ but she pretty much followed this video in her Dementia journey.