I am working on the guardianship process for my elderly father. It is taking some time, longer than I thought. We are writing in a provision that would allow him to stay in his house if he meets certain criteria (i.e. bringing in care). Our care manager has quit and now I'm trying to make all the arrangements for him. Need to hire a new care manager. This is a bit overwhelming. Any words of encouragement are welcome.
I can't imagine forcing an elder into the isolation of living at home, even if he thinks he wants to (think kindergarten for a 4 year old). That would be so lonely, whereas even at this Memory Care, there are playgroups that the various hospices sponsor with a social worker to direct games on the weekends when the staff does not. It's really awesome to see mthr go from being an absolute recluse to enjoying silly things like Bingo that she said she'd never play. Ah, but her competitive nature gets to her and she has to win. Very cute.
I just went through the process with my father. There were no customized provisions. I was awarded full guardianship and conservator over my dad. He is in a memory care unit. I have the authority to direct every aspect of his care and finances.
To keep my dad at home I would have to have created my own nursing home. The money would have run out in a year.
I would think you’d have the same authority when you complete the process.
It is overwhelming. I’m dealing with selling the house and all the rest. Mom died back in April. Still dealing with bills and probate after her death.
If he can still take a cab to a doctors office I can’t imagine a judge ruling him incompetent.
What exactly is going on here?
I wish you the best of luck with this. As far as additional work, there are reports due, financial accountings and so forth, but it’s doable.
You path down this road is going to be tougher than what I went through I think.
That said, your being a bit overwhelmed, panicked and concerned about whether you're going to be able to manage the demands of guardianship while working full-time is a legitimate problem. The responsibilities of being a guardian are serious and can be daunting, even more so for a ward who is stubborn and somewhat lucid. You mentioned responsibilities to your own family and the importance of your employment, thus your being always able and willing to make time, and to stay strong enough to follow through, for an already difficult guardianship will be even harder. You've provided quite a bit of detail about your and your dad's situation, but I'm still wondering about your three siblings who are less, or not at all, involved -- often such siblings become much more involved when they think their future inheritances are disappearing.
You asked for words of encouragement, but all I can offer is best wishes for what I think is going to be a hard job for you to do. You might want to consider having a professional guardian appointed, instead of yourself. Again, kudos to you for even considering taking on this difficult job. Best wishes.
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