I have 5 other siblings. 3 are older and live out of state and live very comfortably financially. I work and have many health problems. My other siblings live here but they just don't have any idea how difficult it is for me. I can't get anyone to understand. I want them to call her and have a conversation so maybe it would break up her day. She cries all the time and tells me she hates where she lives. I moved her last year because she hated the last place she moved to. I guess I'm asking how to get my other siblings to realize how hard it is getting for me. I had surgery 1 month ago and found out I had a silent heart attack and I have to reduce my stress. I offer to take her out but she won't be because she's afraid of her incontinence and she says she's shaky but then complains she's stuck in her apartment all the time. Just don't know what to say or do to get her to stop complaining to me all the time and not my other siblings.
Best of luck!
Even if your siblings orbited around your mom, her outlook may not change at all -- respectfully I think you are being unrealistic in your expectations and should read up on aging decline and dementia so you have a better understanding of it.
Also, your siblings aren't obligated to participate in her care at all. That's their choice, even though you don't like it. Better that you face this reality and move forward to better your own circumstances by finding a care alternative for you mom, like AL or in-home aids. You must make your own health and well-being a priority. This in no way makes you an unloving child. Caregiving is so hard on so many levels that a study showed that 20% of caregivers died before the people they were caring for. Please don't let this be you.
If you are her PoA then please start looking at options to increase outside care for her. She may not like it but remember that she may not like ANYTHING that changes her daily routine. If you aren't her PoA you can inform your siblings that as XX date you are completely done providing her care and managing her affairs -- and then do it. If you make yourself the easy solution they won't ever see a need to step up and step in. It may be rocky for a while but things can get better. May you gain much wisdom and peace in your heart on this journey.
If not, please take her to one. If she is already in treatment, the prescribing doctor needs to be told she needs a meds adjustment.
You need to take care of yourself because if something happens to you Mom is going to be siblings problem and they will find out about caregiving the hard way.
How is that you are the one who does all of the caregiving?
Knowing that you probably can't make your sibs participate more, what are your plans to decrease your involvement and stress?